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Trauma of War

When You Feel Too Much From Them

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A few days ago I thought I would write a new article about Navy records for my website. The majority of people recently seem to be so focused on Army records that I felt it was time to talk about other branches of the military. The Army did not win the war alone you know. When I began writing, the article took a different turn.

Being an empath and medium, research can become very emotional and not just on the emotions level but also in the physical sense. I tend to feel a lot more than other researchers and sometimes it gets stuck in my body or energy field.

Last week I had a two-hour energy session on the phone with one of my healers so I could clear a lot of things that were coming up and some pain in my body. Yesterday I had a Bars session with a different healer who lives near me. I haven’t had my Bars run since September and between the two sessions – a lot is coming up. My emotions are swinging from one end of the spectrum to the other with a lot in between. A lot of this energy is also releasing from my body which has caused some nausea and dizziness since last night.

Feeling Too Much….Feeling Everything

This morning as I sat in Starbucks to start writing, I looked at my grandpa Joseph Holik’s military records and photos. Joseph died long before I was born. I have not told his story yet, although he keeps encouraging it from the great beyond. He comes through in channeled writing and when I’m struggling with something in my life. Apparently there is a way to tell his story that will help others. I am not ready to go there yet. I know when I do, I have to be emotionally ready to handle whatever comes up in the process. His life and military service were not easy and while he encourages me writing his story – he has not told me HOW or what to include – and more importantly – what to leave out.

Joseph Holik’s Great Lakes Boot Camp Photo 1943.

As I looked at his longyard of the boot camp graduates, a small portion is above, I noticed my grandpa is standing tall and proud. When you look closer, you can see part of his soul has already left before the real war for him begins. In some ways he looks like a ghost.

I have no idea what to do with this knowledge or all I’m picking up. Looking at the others in the photo, some look scared, some look “brave”, others look like my grandpa – like part of them has left.

How many of our family members experience this “leaving” before they hit combat. Was it easier for them to leave on some level to not feel everything that was to come? Did any of them retrieve their full souls when they returned home? I know my grandpa never did.

Dealing with the Emotions

How do we, who feel so much, handle this?

  • Journal. When we write what we are experiencing and feeling, it helps us sort things out. We may also channel those we are thinking about which can create greater awareness.
  • Talk to someone. I can count the number of people I can talk to about these things on one hand. A lot of people look at me like I’m nuts when I talk about this side of me. That’s ok. I embrace who I am. Find your tribe and share. You will discover you are not alone.
  • Have an energy healing session. There are numerous healing modalities out there. I have tried several and continue to learn about new ones, if they feel right for me. I have practitioner status in Reiki and Access Consciousness Bars. I seek out energy healers to help me move the stuck energy out of my body. To return to sender all that I carry that is not mine. To release the Pandora’s Box of my family’s secrets that I carry. They are not mine to carry. To continue healing my ancestral lines, particularly the women in my family. These are things I chose in this life. Without regular energy sessions and self-care, I’m not sure I would choose to be here anymore. This world and the energy can be so rough. And did you know, most of what we carry around and act out through our emotions isn’t even ours? We are able to pick up other people’s thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Something we’ve been doing since birth as one way to fit into this reality. In the energy sessions I am often able to help deceased family members have closure on many issues.
  • Take some space and a break. Many of us who do this work on family or military histories, or work with helping others create their life, or caregive for someone, must take breaks and recharge. Refill. I talk a lot about this on the Finding the Answers Journey side of my business. You can watch videos on this on my YouTube channel. Choose the Caregiver Playlist.
  • Go out with friends. Have some fun! One thing I have not been consistent at is getting out with friends. Between taking care of my husband (even when we are not together because I’m always energetically with him), my boys, and business, I am not always willing to go out. Sometimes I spend too much time alone thinking that’s what is best. When I do go out, it lifts the energy and I laugh more.
  • Exercise or move more! Exercise is vital to move the energy out faster, help us shift and keep us healthy and fit. Now that spring is arriving in Chicago, I plan to be out more in nature, watching things erupt into life and colorful beauty.

Those are only a few of the ways I handle all the emotions and energy that comes up with the research I do for myself and clients. These combined with other things keep me sane and mostly balanced.

Telling Their Stories

When we have the research and know more about someone’s life and military service, the next step is deciding whether or not to tell their story. Even when we write their stories for our personal files or to share with close family, we are offering the family member we write about, some peace and closure. We are able to provide healing on many levels because they are being remembered. Honored. We acknowledge their life, service, lessons, hardships, and how that shaped who we are today. It is up to each of us to decide what to do.

Facilitation

If you feel that your research is becoming too much to handle, I offer facilitation sessions. You can purchase these in 1, 3, or 5 hour packages. With each we do a Zoom recorded call to discuss what is happening, what you are aware of, and we shift and clear it out. Through the sessions you receive clarity, often new ideas for research or writing projects, and even peace and closure. Ask me more about this and let’s schedule a 15 minute phone call to make sure we are a good fit for this type of service. I can also help you with your military research – ask me how.

What are you doing to take care of yourself when what THEY feel becomes too much?

© 2019 WWII Research & Writing Center

WWII Graves Registration Service Resources

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Learn about the Graves Registration Service during World War I and World War II. This section provides resources to understand their job, the records they created, and what happened to our military personnel when they were Killed In Action, were Missing In Action, or died during service. Read about current MIA recovery efforts here.

Need help understanding the history of the Graves Registration Service and the records they created, including the Individual Deceased Personnel File (IDPF)? We have a book, Finding the Answers in the Individual Deceased Personnel File that can help!

We also have a 10- week online course Finding the Answers in the IDPF.

World War I

A Living Memorial. The American Cemetery at Meuse-Argonne (ABMC Publication)

The Beginnings of the Quartermaster Graves Registration Service

Thesis: Establishing the American Way of Death

World War I Education – World War I Burial Files

WWI Graves Registration Card Registers

Videos:

World War II

American Battle Monuments Commission

Bibliography of Graves Registration Resources

Articles

Books

Cemetery Codes Word document created by the 7th Armored Division

In Honored Glory

WWII Graves Registration

Memorial Former American Cemetery at Foy, Belgium

Missing Marines

The National Archives

National Cemetery Administration

New York Military Museum’s Database of World War II Dead

The Quartermaster Foundation

U.S. Army Film

U.S. National Library of Medicine

Veteran’s Affairs

Claim for Standard Government Headstone or Marker  

WWII Army and Air Force Casualty List on Fold3

WWII US Medical Research Centre

On the other side of the war, to learn about German WWI and WWII Dead and Prisoners, read the article on Many Roads.

© 2019 World War II Research and Writing Center

War Stories – An Educational Project in Vietnam

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Last year I was approached by a teacher in Vietnam named Ngoc Diệu Nguyễn who was creating a program to share on Microsoft Education called War Stories.   Nguyễn was planning to bring healing to students, veterans of both sides of the Vietnam war, and the world through her program. I was happy to participate because helping the world heal from war is one of my missions.

Program Description from the website:

This collaborative project aims at sparking understanding, empathy, compassion and spreading peace by giving students the chance to talk to veterans, their family members and then share the untold frontline and home front stories with the world.

It is widely accepted that ‘History is written by the victors’ (Winston Churchill). So how much do we really know about history? This collaboration will open students’ eyes and hearts to the connections historically and emotionally shared between the Vietnamese and Americans or among people directly and indirectly involved in any wars in the history. These connections can be felt regardless of war or time or place.

At the completion of the project, students will be able to develop their interviewing, writing, editing skills, their emotional skills and other 21st century skills including Collaboration, Communication, Creativity & Innovation, Self-Direction, Making Global Connections, Making Local Connections, Using Technology as a Tool for Learning. For those learning English as a foreign language or a second language, their four language skills are expected to be improved as well.

If you watch the video, you will see me and a little about my participation and meet many others who contributed to the project. I also gave permission for some of the writing prompts out of my book, Stories from the WWII Battlefield: Volume 3 Writing the Stories of War. This allowed students who do not have access or funds to purchase books, to have additional resources to use when interviewing family members or veterans. Be sure to scroll down the entire page she has set up to meet many other contributors and learn more about the project.

Ngoc asked for my expertise in military research and writing after having been referred to me by David Estes a Vietnam veteran, who runs the Livingston Country War Museum, in Pontiac, IL. David participates in Skype in the Classroom and connected with Ngoc that way. The war museum is an amazing place and worth a several hour visit if you are near Pontiac. You never know who will walk in the door (think veterans with beautiful smiles, lots of energy, laughter, and so many stories!) You can view interviews I conducted with some of the veterans at the museum and a tour of the museum, on my YouTube Channel.

To learn more about War Stories, you can explore the following links.

  1. An overview and progress report.
  2. Where some interactions between students and veterans take place https://flipgrid.com/du79l3w  Use password: warstories2018
  3. Facebook page

Would you like to contribute to the project or contact Ngoc to ask questions or participate in an interview? You can email Ngọc.

© 2019 WWII Research & Writing Center

Professional Researchers and Empathy

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Happy almost New Year!

The end of 2018 has arrived, although I am not quite sure where this year went. While there were moments it felt as if it dragged on and I would never see the light at the end of the tunnel, most days seemed to fly by. As I sit here in these final hours of the year, I have been journaling a lot about my targets for the early part of 2019. I have been evaluating my business, what it has been, what it can no longer be, and what it must become. Who I must become to create in a new way.

I am writing my memoir and a couple of other books at the same time because the world requires hope and inspiration. I require an outlet for some of what I have experienced and felt. I was also put on this earth to help others discover new possibilities to cope with the unknown and difficult. This is requiring me to be very vulnerable and open. Something that is sometimes difficult.

The research we, as professionals, do for people can have serious repercussions in their lives and family. However, in general in the genealogy and military research communities, I don’t see people talking about this. Why is that?

Scrolling through Facebook today, a friend and genealogy colleague we will call “S” posted a meme shared by another colleague that LOL’d the pain a family was going to experience because DNA tests were purchased. There was a family secret the mom had not shared because of her intense grief. “S” stated as professionals or humans, we should not be LOLing or sharing hurtful things, or commenting in ways that cause people pain. We do not know the whole story. Some comments on the original poster’s thread were basically that ‘people need to get over the past and move on.’ Or other more hurtful comments I will not repeat here.

Really? It is THAT easy to forget what happened in the past that caused someone intense pain and grief and was passed down through the family, often unknowingly? Further, how would you feel if someone made comments like this to you about your family? Have we become so uncaring as a society or is it that social media allows people to behave like asses with no consequences to their words or behavior?

What I am seeing many professionals – in any business – lack these days is empathy and the ability to connect on a deeper level with clients to help them navigate the information discovered through genealogical or military research or even DNA.

Empathy is defined as: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

Isn’t this what we should be striving for? Not an attitude of ‘let me take your money, toss you some papers, and let you sort yourself out.’

What would it take for the people of the world to start showing more empathy? How could our world change if we did?

I am different……

The primary reason new clients have chosen to work with me is the fact I provide empathy and answers. I go deeper that anyone else in my field and help them sort out the past. I cannot stand by and let someone else suffer with the questions or uncertainty, when I can provide answers, hope, and often a message from their loved one. One client recently sent a testimonial,

“Incredible!  Whether your looking for the smallest of detail, the answer to a question, or the entire story…Mrs. Holik is the researcher, the expert to work with.  I was amazed as to the details, the actual written records, and pictures that she was able to find surrounding my father’s time overseas during WWII…so very much information/detail, even though I wasn’t able to give her much to go on, just my father’s name and that he was in the Army.  Another unexpected, but very special characteristic of Mrs. Holik’s work was her sensitivity, her compassion, her love for the work she’s doing, and for the actual individuals (both alive and having passed) she was working on and for.  She conveyed her sincere interest and care every time, whether on the phone, or in her written communications with me.  Her work is very special, the product that she produces is very special, and she is one very special person.” ~~ Rich Williams

If you are interested in working with a researcher who digs deep, provides empathy, helps you sort out the family stories, secrets, shame, guilt, all in a confidential manner, and help you process the information we discover, I am taking new clients at this time. Feel free to contact me for a free phone consultation to discuss research options, costs, and timelines.

© 2018 World War II Research & Writing Center

Releasing Our Family’s Choices & Experiences

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If you have been following the articles and videos for the last week or so, I have been bringing up some strong questions. Questions which make people stop and react – positively or negatively. My point of view is that we should be looking at the other aspects of our family and military histories. What we discover can help us move forward and create a better, happier life. It also helps clear the past of negative energies.

I have spent a lot of time the last decade looking at the darker parts of my family’s history and the military history we have. I have helped many clients look at this as part of their research or writing projects. We all come out of the project changed and ready to create something greater for ourselves and our families. Are you ready to create something better?

Ask us how we can help you learn more about your family’s past – going deeper than the basic facts.

© 2018 World War II Research and Writing Center

Why Do We Keep Repeating History? A Look at WWII.

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Last weekend Johan and I traveled to the Dutch/German border near Aachen and spent a few days exploring WWII history and contemplating family history. I did a lot of writing on this trip. Musings. Questions. Concerns. Joyful things. All of this was captured in my journal.

One thing that keeps showing up the longer I am in Europe on this trip is that history keeps repeating itself. We are not doing enough to stop this.

In September while at the unveiling of a new WWII memorial in the Netherlands, during a speech someone said something to the effect that the Dutch have lived in relative peace for almost 75 years. The current young generations have no idea what it is like to live in fear or hunger. They in many ways take their freedom for granted as if this is how it has always been and this is how it will always be.

Wrong attitude.

The Dutch seem to be the only European country (that I have witnessed) consistently educating their youth on the history and events of WWII. I can say that having kids in American schools, they are not being educated on any of this beyond 5 minutes here or there. My boys know about our family’s history and sacrifices because I take time to explain it. They know how things work in other countries because I explain it. Knowing American schools are not educating about the past in a way that we can stop the division, anger, hate, and war in the present or cause our kids to QUESTION everything, stirs a lot of emotion in me. Rather than question, students are being taught to follow the crowd like sheep and buy into everything the media, government, school, church, etc. tells them is “truth”.

In the Netherlands, the school children participate in commemorations and other events so the history is alive. In other countries in Europe it seems to be covered up, changed, ignored, slid under the carpet.

Case in point, we watched a National Geographic investigative program on Mussolini the other night after we visited the Nazi Training Facility at Vogelsang in the German Eifel. I have not studied Italian history beyond early family history for a client so was unaware that Mussolini was in power so long in the 1930s and Hitler modeled himself after Mussolini. Then the historians in the program made an important point – when rulers are losing power or the country is going to hell, they create a DISTRACTION. That distraction is war.

Mussolini took his country into war with Ethiopia and won yet lost. WWII began and eventually Italy, who originally sided with Hitler, lost that connection and became an Allie. From the program and what I’ve heard, Italy does not educate their youth the way the Dutch do. There is a rise in Fascism today because people want a new Mussolini. They seem to have no concept of what happened in the past to bring him to power, the destruction he caused, and his downfall and the state of Italy afterward.

Thinking about all we have seen in the last two months in Europe, the programs I have watched, the places we visited, the history I read, the clients I have been working with, I did a lot of writing on this topic before we visited Margraten, the Netherlands American Cemetery for WWII. In this sacred place I wandered the graves, visited some specific soldiers, was snagged to stop and talk to others, and contemplated all of this. Having family members who fought, were changed, or died, in WWI and WWII, I do not understand why we keep forgetting the past. Why we continue to carry the sins of the fathers around like they are ours. Why we are so afraid to bring our family darkness to the light and explore it. Forgive it. Release it. Find closure.

Some of my thoughts are contained in this video. Some invitations and questions for YOU are also here. Have you taken the time to consider these things? What roles have your family members played in the past – whether WWII, WWI, or even before that, to continue looping history? Do you think it is time to let these things go and stop carrying them in our families?

Additional reading: for background on this trip and where some of my questions came from, you are invited to read the other articles I wrote where I touch on these topics.

Are you ready to explore your family’s history or military history? Explore our services and educational materials to learn more.

© 2018 World War II Research & Writing Center

The Lessons of Vogelsang

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Johan and I visited Vogelsang, a former Nazi Training Facility and Tourist hot spot/wedding venue during the 1930s and early 1940s. Standing in this place now, looking out over the beautiful fall Eifel National Park, and knowing the history of this place, was hard to wrap my head around.

The National Socialist Documentation Center, which we visited and saw the exhibit, “The Master Race”, offers these questions on their website:

  • What was the attraction of a place like Vogelsang during the National Socialist period?
  • What did the party leadership promise young men coming here regarding their future?
  • What motivated their hopes and their desire for social advancement?
    Were they, through drill and formation, predestined to participate in crimes, or could they have also said no?
  • Did they see themselves as members of a supposed master race and act upon this?

After we viewed the exhibit and walked most of the complex, I had no answers to those questions. I only had more questions and uncertainty about the world and the humans who inhabit it.

One thing we have to remember, especially in this day and age is that We did not commit the sins of our fathers but we carry them in our DNA. What would it take for us to release this burden we carry that is not ours? What would it take to stop using energetic words that cause us to take on the energy of others like saying, “I’m embarrassed or I’m ashamed or I feel guilty” when we have no reason to take this on because we are not the ones doing whatever we are apologizing for. Maybe most importantly, what would it take for people to stop acting like sheep and following the pack and believing everything they are told? What would it take for more people to wake up and start questioning everything?

How might our world change? Could we stop the war, anger, hate, division, and all the other negativity in this reality?

My invitation to you is to start looking at the darker sides of your family and military history. Bring those things into the light and release the shame, guilt, sadness, negativity, darkness, horror, whatever it is that is stuck there. Let it go. Forgive. Move on to create a better future.

Would you like help researching your family or military history? Would you like to explore the darker sides of your history to clear and release the past?

© 2018 World War II Research & Writing Center

Are You Ready to Explore More of You & Your Family?

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Learn more at Finding the Answers Journey after watching the video.

© 2018 World War II Research & Writing Center