Truth is defined as the reality of a situation. But whose situation? Can there be variations of a truth? How in genealogy or military research do we decide which truth is accurate? How do we decide if a family story that has been passed down through the generations contains any truth? Maybe the most important question to ask: Do we want to believe a story that is not backed by a paper trail, because we admire and love a family member so much that to not believe it would be disloyal to that person’s memory?
Throughout the years I’ve heard a lot of stories from clients, people I meet when I teach, and on social media, about their hero veteran. When presented with facts that go against the story they’ve grown up believing, many enter a state of cognitive dissonance. After some processing of information, some people choose to accept that the stories they were told were not quite accurate. Others choose to remain faithful and believe they would have never been lied to. All of life is a choice, but when we publish the story or present it on film or other media – are we telling the truth?
Does it even matter?

Did We Get the Story Wrong?
I have had the experience of a client telling me a family story which does not appearing in any official records. Therefore, we have no way to verify if the events described, actually took place. What do we do with this story then if we can’t verify it? Place it in the book anyway? Preface the story with something like, ‘I was unable to verify this story through official records but my grandpa told me…’ What is the truth of this story?
Before we decide how to proceed, I often ask a few questions for the client to consider. The questions and discussion can lead to insights for the client and allows them space to consider all options. These questions may be helpful to you as well as you begin your storytelling projects.
- How old were you when you heard this story? Children process information differently than adults. Children tend to “fill in the gaps” when they hear whispers or partial stories, or stories they are not old enough to process. As they grow and retell a story, the facts they originally heard may be muddled and the story comes out differently. Is it possible you combined a couple of stories and the one you describe now didn’t happen to your grandpa?For example: As a child your grandpa told you about his Army Air Force experience during World War II. He said he crashed and was taken prisoner but escaped. As an adult, you conduct military research and discover there is zero evidence for the crash, his prisoner status or escape. The usual records were examined to see if he appeared and he did not. What do you do?
- Is it a tall tale? You heard a story as a teenager about your grandpa who fought in the Army in the Pacific and did all these big things to save his fellow soldiers. The research is done and you discover he was not on the front lines; he was never overseas; or he was overseas and he was a cook behind the lines. What do you do? How do you present this?
- There are multiple accounts of the event. You heard a story about a battle that took place and your grandpa gave you his account. In reading the unit histories and battle reports, you find some of his facts match and others do not. What do you do with this?Where there are multiple accounts of an event, I tend to look at the big picture rather than solely individiual accounts. I use the idea of perspective as well to help someone identify the truth in a story. Let’s say you have two soldiers in a foxhole facing you. The battle begins in front of them and one guy turns to the right and the other to the left and now they are facing two different ways, fighting two different battles. Whose truth is accurate?
- There are no records to prove or disprove. In some cases, the story can never be verified by official records because those records simply do not exist. For example: Many of the records created by Americans who were taken as prisoners of the Japanese may not have survived and returned stateside. Records created after liberation of the prisoners may tell a story, provide facts, but are they totally accurate since the information was given weeks, months, or years after the fact? How do we handle this?

How Do We Proceed in Telling the Story?
How exactly do we proceed? In my opinion, it in part depends on who the audience is for the story or book. The stories we write, or share in other ways, may provide education for those who are new to research. Keep this in mind when you write your stories.
Family-Only Book. Many clients will place all the stories in the book, whether or not there are official records to back them up. I suggest if you choose this, to put disclaimers in with the stories you could not verify, that let readers know you were unable to verify x, y, and z.
Public Book or Project. If you are telling the story to the general public, some of whom may be historians or those deeply and emotionally invested in a certain part of the war, carefully consider what you include. I’ve seen people attacked because they included a story that could not be verified or was too much of a tall tale. On the flip side I’ve seen others praise and be inspired by the story.
I suggest to clients that they consider the implications of sharing volatile stories. Can they handle the repercussions, especially in this day where keyboard warriors can be so brutally horrible to other people just because they have the safety of their screen?
In the end, the decision is up to the client or person creating the storytelling project. What is the story they want to tell? How do they want to tell it? How does this honor their veteran and family? Ultimately…what is more important – the entire truth with every fact documented, or honoring a memory and the life of a veteran?
Only you can decide.
Would you like help with your WWI or WWII Research or Writing?
I am taking new research clients and have space for new book clients. To learn more about a possible research or book project, email me at jennifer@ancestralsouls.com to set up a free consultation to discuss your needs.
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