Jennifer Holik

Exploring the other side of genealogy and military research

The trauma of World War II did not end when the war ended. The trauma didn’t just happen to those who served. It also happened to those on the home front in America. Those who were living the war every day while bombs went off around them. Those who had to find a new way to create a life after displacement when the guns finally went silent.

The trauma didn’t end but was passed through the extended family energetically. It passed down the generations through DNA. Everyone suffered and there were no tools to process and heal back then. Many of us, me included, have suffered in silence, not knowing what caused some of our issues. This is something the genealogy and military research communities rarely discuss.

I have heard quite often from genealogists that trauma work requires a licensed mental health professional. Professional researchers should not be delving into such things. While I agree that some people may need to seek professional mental health assistance, I do not believe that is true for everyone.

In the past, when going through a divorce, I had gone to therapy. It kind of helped. However once I consciously stepped onto my spiritual path and began the deep dive into healing myself and raising my consciousness, I saw no reason personally to return to that type of help. For more than 10 years I have worked exclusively with energy healers of all sorts. Each one has helped me peel back the layers of ancestral and personal trauma. That is what works for me. It may not be what works for you.

I have also heard that genealogy and military records won’t specifically tell you the trauma or how it impacted your family and YOU. While one specific record or group of records may not tell you how your veteran suffered or how that trauma was passed down through the generations, it is a puzzle piece to your overall research and healing journey.

Using tools like my Circle of Influence or the Genogram or Timelines or any other number of things, allows you to work with individual records to piece together the story of the trauma. These tools in combination with the records will provide a clearer picture of your life and that of your ancestors.

The Living

Millions of veterans returned home carrying memories of combat, loss, survival, shame, hatred, anger, and grief they often could not speak about. Many buried their pain while others expressed it through drugs, alcohol, emotional or physical withdrawal or abandonment, anger, and abuse.

Upon discharge from military service, veterans were told to “move on,” stay quiet, get married, create a new life and get a job. Yet unspoken trauma rarely disappears. It moves through families in silence, emotional distance, anger, addiction, fear, perfectionism, repeated patterns and relationships, and even the stories that were never told. I know firsthand how those family secrets can start to destroy us.

These emotions were taught, lived, and observed by the children in families of veterans. Those children then lived those behaviors they witnessed growing up. The children carried their own shame, anger, grief, and hatred along with that of their parents. Once those children were grown and had children of their own – the beliefs, behaviors, patterns, trauma, and emotions passed down. Only now the energies are so decontextualized it is challenging to understand where it began.

Children of WWII veterans had no tools to process or understand any of it. Support was given to a veteran if he was diagnosed with a mental health condition – maybe. The family received no support until well after Vietnam. The veteran definitely received treatment if he was locked away in a VA Hospital like my grandpa. Although when I say definitely I kind of mean those veterans were experimented on with drugs and procedures to “advance” the study of mental health healing. In the end, based on my research, I think it likely did more harm than good.

Children who grew up without a father at home due to mental health were in a sense, “orphans” of war. Each carried his or her own questions and emotions about the war. The children of veterans, now, in 2026 as elderly adults, with greater military records access and a father who is likely dead, are now able and ALLOWED to ask questions. Say the family secrets out loud. Learn what really happened. Process. Heal.

The Dead

Families whose service members never came home also suffered. Most went without actual truthful answers about what happened to their service member when they died. Some families were not able to bring the remains of their loved one home due to financial strain or family drama.

There is one record that I and many others have brought attention to in the last 15 years that may help provide answers and healing. This is the Individual Deceased Personnel File (IDPF). The IDPF provides answers on the death of the individual, Missing and Unrecoverable status, temporary and permanent burial and so much more. Because of this one file, many families are now able to process the grief that has pervaded the family system for decades. They are able to learn the truth. When they also work with a professional military researcher like me, they can also process the information with someone who understands.

Those of Us Who Research and Heal

Researching wartime service, home front sacrifices, prisoner of war experiences, displacement, or the loss of loved ones using records and tools can reveal emotional patterns and behaviors that descendants may still carry today. Genealogy, military records, letters, photographs, and oral histories allow families to reconnect the human story behind the silence.

When we begin asking questions with compassion instead of judgment, we often discover that our ancestors were doing the best they could while carrying extraordinary burdens. Understanding the experiences of both veteran and civilian, through the military records, can create empathy, strengthen identity, and help families break cycles of emotional suppression and unresolved anger and grief. The research can also help children and grandchildren of veterans understand the context of service which created who the veteran became. Thus, who they became.

Healing begins when families acknowledge the truth of what happened. Exploring WWII trauma is not about reopening wounds for the sake of pain; it is about giving voice to experiences that were never fully processed. By telling these stories, honoring sacrifices, and recognizing the emotional impact of war across generations, we create space for healing, resilience, and connection. Our ancestors’ stories are not only military history — they are part of our emotional inheritance. When we understand them, we better understand ourselves.

Learn More

If you are ready to learn more about ancestral healing and war trauma, join one of my Ancestral Café sessions or take a class. My current offerings include both military records research classes and ancestral healing, family patterns classes, like the Circle of Influence, Introduction to Genograms, Timelines and more. Offers rotate each month.

I also take military research clients and book clients. For a free consult to discuss your specific project needs, email jennifer@ancestralsouls.com .