Jennifer Holik

What I’ve Learned Writing Family History Books for Clients

Writing family history, veteran history, and personal history is soul work. Through the act of storytelling we preserve memories, teach lessons, give a voice to the voiceless, and quite possible heal deep pieces of our hearts and souls. This healing happens whether we write for a client or ourselves.

I wrote a bucket list book in 2010 that turned my life upside down. That one act opened my brand new genealogy business up to a new possible income stream (writing). Then my ancestors who died in war showed up to assist me in creating this life I never planned for or anticipated. Fast forward to the end of 2012 … I was one of many who consciously stepped on the spiritual path to help bring about change to the world. More ancestors appeared, including those of my clients, all ready and willing to tell me their stories and help heal their lineages. As a writer, I was the channel to do their important work. These are a few of the lessons I’ve learned over the last 15 years working with the dead and writing for clients.

The Family History Book Client

I’ve written several books for genealogy and military clients that never saw the public light of day. These were intimate and private family projects. Each one over the years taught me more about the art of storytelling; how this work helps others find answers and peace; gave a voice to the voiceless on the other side; and showed me that sometimes the client is on a soul journey with us. Together, we create what we could not do alone. In the end we both heal as we tell the story. We both create something unexpected in our lives. Our lineages heal. The collective heals. Let me tell you about one such extraordinary client.

Until 2021 when he passed away, a local Italian-American client and I worked together for 11 years on his family history. Yes, 11 years is a very long time to work with someone. This client was not the normal client for me and I suspect many other professionals have not worked so long with one person. He showed up at a crucial crossroads in my life and may have saved me in a sense. It didn’t take this client and I long to realize we were on something of a soul journey.

It began with a short burst of genealogical research on his late wife’s family from Sicily and Italy. The first goal was to answer a question about a family story. The second was to put together a brief, spiral bound book the client could give his family at Christmas. However, once this was complete, we kept on going. The client needed to know more. To preserve his history for his (hopeful future) grandchildren.

The research expanded into his family as well, from one tiny mountaintop town in southern Italy, Ricigliano. Once he and I started researching, it never stopped, and only expanded more, until he died.

Just how did it expand? I began by researching his late wife’s family stateside to his family stateside. Then he asked me to help him organize his family archives of old documents, photos and photo albums, and other materials. This led to a large setup in the lower living room of his home with tables full of materials. I scanned thousands of photos, conducted research in the Chicago area and start writing family history books for every Christmas thereafter. Normally I also created a photobook to accompany the family history book. It was a lot of work

We later added an Italian researcher to the mix to help us obtain records from the places his late wife’s family was from and Ricigliano. We created the largest Ricigliano database over those 11 years. I’m not sure what has happened to it – whether his son and his wife put it on Ancestry or if it remains within the family but we researched back to the 1600s. We were able to identify the intermarriages between cousins which created family relationships in multiple ways between individuals.

Not only did we find documents but family members, cousins, and distant relatives began contributing photos, information to see if they could connect into the research we had done, and then came the stories and family recipes.

There was so much more we did together but in the end I had created a family recipe book which was celebrated by friends, family, and others. I created multiple photo books using the scanned photos the client had. I created descendant based family history books every year – the last set in 2019 which was three volumes running 600-800 pages a book. Do you know how crazy it is to create a descendant book starting in 1600 when lines overlap often?

Adding the Final Touch

A couple years before his death, the client wanted to write a biography about himself. Write a volume about his late wife and her life. A volume about his son. And, a volume about the work he’d done throughout his life. For these volumes I served more as a developmental editor and energetic healer rather than researcher. His drafts were deeply personal and for his son’s eyes only once we published the private books. I supported him through a lot of memory and emotion as he wrote.

Some part of me suspected he knew he didn’t have a lot of years left. This was his way to ensure his life lived on through more than his work or the family history books we created. We were able to publish all but one of his final books before his death.

What I Learned

As the wheel of time continued to spin, I realized that most of my clients have shown up to help me remember. Remember someone, something, to spread the word, or to help heal. I also learned that some clients show up to help you create the next part of your life. They are there to push you, challenge you, help you grow out of your comfortable box. This client absolutely did that for me. Having lost his wife he also was a support for me when my late Dutch husband Johan was so ill and dying. I also learned many new skills in order to work for him monthly on the multiple projects (archives, photo organization and scanning, photo books, genealogy, military research, writing and publishing).

I believe I also helped him through the last years of his life. While he already had a tremendous life purpose, this gave him even more. He knew I was on a different end of the religious spectrum than he – we shared some similar beliefs but he being very Catholic and me being very spiritual – sometimes we didn’t see eye to eye. That said, he and and I always took time to discuss these things and reach a mutual understanding. Sometimes those conversations were also focused on helping him process new information or stories about the family. Many conversations were held about family, life, beliefs, patterns, and trauma. There was great respect and sometimes we even changed our beliefs after hearing the other’s side.

I also felt very strongly that he and I knew each other in past lives and in this one we were working through a lot of karmic stuff. Exactly what I never knew, but I always had a sense that we were walking each other to the next phase. I am aware that he sensed that on some level as well. Through all the stories, research, scanning, writing, and publishing, we both changed and in the end, became better humans. That change also allowed me to pay it forward with many others, something he himself did in his work and life. He forever changed me and for that I’m grateful.

The Military Book Client

With all the military book clients I’ve worked with, the biggest lesson I’ve learned was to share the story, and sometimes the words, of the veteran from the other side. To help guide the client through some difficult memories and emotions which allows the best story to be written. The service members that I’ve written about often channel through me. This means different things at different times. Sometimes it comes as whispers to look for a certain record or book. To talk to someone who knows more than I. To ask the client questions or pass a message. To share lessons learned, mistakes made, and how terrible war is on everyone.

I’m currently ghost writing a book about a woman’s father who was a Japanese POW for 3 1/2 years after the Philippine Islands were captured in 1942. This book and this client have touched my soul. If you know anything about how Japanese POWs were treated, you know this is a horrific and emotionally difficult topic to explore. One that must be navigated with caution, care, and the energy of love.

For years I think energetically I was shutting out Pacific Theater clients who needed me to go into the depths of hell that a Japanese POW experienced. I don’t watch horror films. I can’t stand seeing humans hurt in any way. I also wasn’t ready to face this part of the war in such depth, until I was. This woman appeared and wanted to share the story of her father’s military experience. What has happened is much more than that.

Together through the research and writing both she and I have had to process some dark things. On her end, many hidden emotions and memories rose to the surface to examine, feel, heal, and release. She talks to me about some of this and the rest she keeps to herself. On my end, I’ve helped her process energertically some of this and faced my own fear of the horror of the POW experience. I realized I am more than strong enough to do this work and tell these kinds of stories.

What I Learned

While many veteran stories focus on the combat experience overall, this client chose to go further into the man her father was after he was liberated. This included the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful. She has shown me once again that everyone can forgive and move forward. Create a life full of purpose and meaning without holding a grudge against the “enemy”. Her father’s voice has come through beautifully in this book and we can see how he struggled and how he overcame. The most important lesson he teaches is that we must forgive and love one another.

This project is soon coming to a close and the client will have her private book for her family. One that honors her father’s life, his military experience, his struggles, and his incredible faith and heart. A book that shows how a veteran struggled and still overcame the ghosts of war. A story of how his family was impacted due to his trauma, yet still rose in the end. We can all learn a lot from veterans like this.

This is Soul Work

The soul work of writing a book about a client’s veteran or family members is not just about the research and putting words on a page. It’s about helping the client process the emotions that arise as we research, write, and ultimately publish. When I work with a client as a ghost writer, writer, developmental editor, researcher, or book designer, I am holding space for them as we move through this sacred work.

Researching and writing brings up a lot of memories, both positive and negative. As an empath and spiritual healer, I am able to help the client process some of what appears. I ask questions and give them things to sit with as they process. Sometimes I’m the only one they have to talk to about such things due to breaks in the family or being the only one left. This is sacred work.

I believe every client project serves a greater purpose than just research or writing. Through these acts we shed old beliefs, behaviors, patterns, and trauma. We grow and heal. We preserve the memories of those now gone. We may also inspire someone else to take the first steps into their veteran histories to learn how their family was impacted through the generations.

It’s time to do this deeper work. All of humanity needs us to heal the energies of war. Are you ready to begin?

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Are you ready to start writing your own book? Do you need a developmental editor or someone to ghost write for you? Email Jennifer to schedule a free consultation to discuss your writing project today. You may also explore all my writing services.

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