Are veterans allowed to share names in their books?
The pain and trauma of war live on in the minds, hearts, bodies, and souls of veterans, long after the guns fall silent. The memories, the bodies, the combat experiences, and even the good times, can blur together. Some are even blocked, forgotten. Safely behind a shield the veteran carefully constructed while overseas. At discharge, veterans returned home, started a family, went to school, got a job and tried to appear “normal,” as if nothing had changed. But nothing is normal. Nothing can ever be the same but it is safely locked away.
Have you ever noticed 40 years is the amount of time it takes before we mere mortals experience some profound change? An awakening or opening of our hearts, souls, and pain? I’ve noticed after World War II, it took about 40 years (1980s) for veterans to start opening up more about their experiences. For Korea (1990s), and Vietnam (2000s). Many women report having an awakening and an ‘I no longer give a f*&k about….’ moments after hitting the age of 40. If you start investigating, 40 years seems to be some magical marker to create openings in our souls. I can say for sure I had one at 40 that transformed my entire life.
What might 40 years mean to a veteran who has held his or her story close? It might mean his or her family has grown and left the house. Grandchildren have been born. Spouses have died. Jobs ended as retirement age approached. Old memories surface, ghosts reappear and it becomes clear it is time to tell the stories of war.
Naming Names
I’ll be honest, in my 15 years as a military research expert, writer, and teacher, I’ve written books for families of veterans. I have not yet written one for a veteran or helped a veteran write his or her story. I’m not sure why that is. I only know that the universe sends me the clients at a time when we are both ready to work together to tell a story.
I have however, received emails and comments on my website from veterans asking questions about telling their stories. A common question I receive, and actually just received an email about this recently, is Am I allowed to name names, especially of the dead?
They Will Not Be Forgotten
It has been said that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken, that we are only truly gone when we’ve disappeared from the memories of those who loved us, meaning a great artist never dies. As long as his books are read, his paintings admired, as long as our songs are sung, we may each of us live forever. Henry Morgan
I believe we have a duty to speak their names. Too many have been forgotten. Over the years I’ve read hundreds of World War II Individual Deceased Personnel Files (IDPFs) that document the death details, recovery, and burial of our war dead. I’ve read World War I, Korea, and Vietnam files as well, but World War II has been my focus. In many of those files for young men who were not married and had no children before they were killed, their memories die with with them. I’ve heard many stories from clients and others that their families never spoke the name of the fallen again and forbid others in the family from naming children or grandchildren after the fallen.
The pain was just too great to bear. A name a constant reminder of who was lost.
Many of those IDPFs have crossed my path and I have shared their stories so their names would live on. Now as veterans ask if it is ok to share the names of those with whom they served, those who they cared for after death, my perspective is yes.
But…
Please do some research first.
If a veteran wishes to write about those with whom he served – first find out if they are still alive. This might define how and what you write about them and your experiences with them. If possible, try to contact them and let them know if you are publishing a public book or story. There may be additional steps to take legally – names to be changed or written permission to talk about certain events. Do your homework to ensure you aren’t stepping over any lines.
If the veteran is writing about someone who died in the war, try to get the death files to learn more and provide a source within your story or book. See if you are able to learn more about the fallen’s repatriation or continuing Missing In Action status. Perhaps check Ancestry or other sites to see if the family has published anything about their fallen.
There are so many families searching for information, that your book and that one source you share, may open a new research path for someone. It may also bring some answers, closure, peace, and healing to that individual who is searching or their family.
I believe all our veterans deserve to have their stories told – whether they were honorable or not. War was not all ‘good guys and bad guys.’ There were a mix of both on every side. Sometimes even those dark stories need to be told so people have answers, can process, heal, and grow. Sometimes the stories, good and bad, need to be told so we can forgive – ourselves and others. Again, do your homework to ensure you aren’t legally crossing any lines that will damage you.
I Don’t Know Their Names
There are cases where a veteran will have helped save a life or recovered remains of the fallen and they have no idea, or can’t remember, the names of those individuals. What happens then?
In cases like this where a veteran recovered remains of Marines and that experience stuck with him for decades, the story can still be told. Even without names, a description of the event, where it took place, timing (even Month/Year) can be enough information. The details a veteran provides may be enough to spark a memory of a similar/same event in a reader’s family that sparks research. It might take a while but the names may surface months or years after the book is published. Try to provide details (declassified of course) where possible. Your story may be the key to someone else’s healing.In the end, I believe our veterans have stories to tell. In those stories will be names of those who lived and those who died. Everyone deserves to be remembered.
Are you ready to write your stories of war – for your veteran or your own military experience?
Public or Private Stories and Books
What do we share and how do we share it? Will anyone read my story? Will the details be too graphic? What if someone asks me to give a book talk and share my book in public? These are additional concerns for veterans.
I believe there are many people waiting for our veterans, especially Korea and Vietnam, to start telling their stories. Will they be easy to read on an emotional level? Probably not – the graphic details of those wars may exceed what we’ve learned about the brutality of World War I and World War II. This doesn’t mean it should be hidden – humanity needs to know so we can process and heal this energy of war.
If a book is too graphic, this doesn’t mean you have to read it in one sitting. Honest stories of war are something to take slowly. Allow your mind and heart to process the information. The stories might trigger you to start digging into your own family’s past.
Book talks and sharing of the new book in podcasts, libraries, and other venues is not something an author is required to do. Many veterans quietly publish their stories without a lot of fanfare and people find them. Others publish more loudly to allow for their stories to be found quickly. It’s all a matter of personal choice.
Writing the story is a personal act of processing and healing. The writing is all a veteran may need to heal. Public speaking and sharing may not be needed. Again, it’s all a choice based on a veteran’s journey.
Want to go further? Read my article When One Voice Breaks the Silence.
Are You Ready to Bring Your Veteran’s Story to Life?
Whether you’re just starting to research or write and need guidance and a plan to draft your book or you have been writing for a while, I can help. I can help you move through the overwhelm, uncertainty, stuckness, and emotions that rise as you craft your story. I offer personalized research and developmental editing to all clients. All it takes is a free phone call to discuss your specific project.
Your story or your veteran’s story isn’t just a research project. It’s a healing tool, a legacy for the veteran, and a gift to your family, or perhaps the world. Who needs to hear YOUR family’s story? I can help you make it one that lasts.
To learn more, email me at jennifer@ancestralsouls.com to schedule a free phone consult to discuss your project and how I may be able to help now or in the future.
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