Trauma-Informed Isn’t a Badge: What Genealogy Groups Need Before They Claim It.

Trigger Warning – some may find this article triggering for a variety of reasons.

There is a lot of “trauma-informed” talk in the world the last two years. I just saw a book on “trauma-informed enlightenment.” I guess at this point you can call anything trauma-informed as it is the latest bandwagon?

The genealogy community is also talking a lot about trauma-informed the last few months. In some ways I think this is great. I’ve been trying to plant seeds about the professional aspect and personal healing aspect of trauma for 10 years. It seems until the phrase “trauma-informed” showed up, the majority of people weren’t paying attention. Now they are. But at what cost? The question needs to be asked – who is this going to support and who will it harm?

I observe many thinking this is the next “big new exciting thing” and people are jumping on the bandwagon so they aren’t left out. And when some jump, they don’t quite know what they have signed up for. I fear there will be a lot of people trying to one-up another in some spaces on social media for who has more trauma, which will activate and trigger others who have no support. Then I sense others will see these spaces as therapy without anyone actually holding space to moderate.

From personal experience, when we start doing the deeper work on ourselves and exploring what our lineage holds through genealogical and military records, family stories, secrets, whispers, and what can’t be proven through a paper trail – no one gives you a spiritual guidebook on the things you may experience. Some of this may be “mainstream” like anxiety, depression, etc. Other things may be visions, CLAIRs activating, past lives surfacing, ancestors communicating, and those out of body experiences some of us have in specific places or with certain people.

Here’s the thing…the genealogical and military material is real, the emotions and triggers are real, and the people in the space are often researching their own families’ wounds. On the professional side of things, we also suffer with similar issues. More on that in another article. A label without the structure behind it can do harm.

Why “Trauma-informed” Isn’t A Bandwagon To Jump On

Trauma-informed practice is a set of skills and structures that includes first and foremost – your inner healing work. Without having done your own work, you cannot help others. You can only meet others at the depth you have done your own work. So if you have only skimmed the surface of your own personal and ancestral healing, how can you hold grounded space for others?

This practice involves not only self-work and study on trauma but when you run a group or program, you must be able to pace things. Offer a safe, grounded space for discussion or teaching. There must be choice for participants to stay or leave, speak or remain quiet. You also need a plan for people who are overwhelmed. You must also know your limits. Personal limits is one thing I am not seeing talked about.

Know Your Depth and Limits

Genealogists and military research surfaces things nobody planned for and possibly until recently, the majority of people just attached to their tree and kept searching. But now that “trauma-informed” is mainstream, people are starting to take a closer look at a military record, a POW camp or concentration camp, an institutionalization, a child given away, sexual abuse, generations of alcoholism and violence, child loss, abandonment, a violent death. Someone can sit down to find a birth or death date and walk into something that undoes them. A space that has announced itself as trauma-informed but has no real container will fail those people at exactly the moment they trusted it.

If you are running a space or joined a space like this, you should be questioning the leader(s) and moderator(s) to learn what their experiences and training or study has been with trauma, ancestral healing, energy work, therapy, and related topics. Do they have any training? Can you clearly see in their websites, social media, and other places that they can hold that space?

Genealogists, military researchers, and workshop leaders are generally not therapists. Trauma-informed means you design with trauma in mind and know when something is beyond what your space can hold. It does not mean you process trauma. A leader processing trauma is its own article and boy do I have a lot to say on that. When leaders blur that line, a research or writing group or “healing space” quietly becomes an unlicensed therapy group.

Moderation Is Vital

When spaces do not have a grounded and trained moderator, things can go south very quickly.

• Trauma comparison. Someone shares a difficult and graphic story, the next person’s is even greater, and the space starts ranking suffering. People with less graphic and challenging stories go quiet. Some feel like they don’t belong to this new “clique” that has formed.
• Oversharing too early. Without clear expectations of the group, what is allowed to share, or not. How things will be paced, when someone discloses deeply in the first post or session, they might feel exposed and then disappear. Trust has to be established first in these spaces. A moderator slows that down, helps the group develop trust, and keeps the depth matched to the group’s level of trust.
• Contagion. Activations and triggers can happen when people hear or read other people’s graphic details. This can surface in a multitude of ways – which may frighten the person it is happening to and lead to unintended consequences. Without the leader or moderator clearly holding space and providing resources to process the triggers, people may leave the group or class and spiral downward with no support.
• This is not therapy. In a space without adequate moderation, well-meaning members fer interpretations and advice that may trigger more within an individual. Safety may become a factor for the individual receiving the advice. Leaders and moderators should encourage members to be witnesses and observe, not provide “therapy.”
• Accurate language is important. Ideas about intergenerational or ancestral trauma range from well-supported to speculative. Accurate language around trauma should be utilized. I recently read someone describe trauma as a person becoming sad because a belief in their family about someone being in the Battle of Gettysburg was proven false. That belief being shattered doesn’t mean they are traumatized. The accurate term is cognitive dissonance. A group needs someone who can keep the language accurate rather than letting confident claims spread unchecked.

Be Conscious of Where You Tell Your Stories

The people drawn to these trauma-informed spaces are often carrying real grief, anger, shame, guilt, sadness, and unprocessed trauma. They enter with trust which means the stakes are higher than in an ordinary group or class. People who disclose all their trauma too fast, aren’t acknowledged and given resources or moderation, may associate their experiences and ancestors’ stories with shame, guilt, or anger. Leaders with no formal plan about how to handle the vast sharing and possible (likely) breakdowns can do more harm than good.

Leaders who have done their own healing work and continue to do that work with clear boundaries around the work they do or group they run is vital. Look for those who demonstrate they have what it takes to safely ground a group and its members. Look for those who know how to set boundaries and do self-care. A leader whose cup is empty cannot support others. And finally, work with a leader who knows when to refer someone to a mental health professional or someone else the individual may need.

What are your thoughts about the “trauma-informed” genealogy? Or trauma-informed everything else? Is it the latest buzz word or bandwagon? What else should we be aware of – for ourselves or those we interact with?

Are you ready to explore your family’s beliefs, behaviors, patterns, trauma, gifts, and resiliencies? Join the Ancestral Souls Cafe, A sacred space to explore your lineage, inherited beliefs, behaviors, patterns, inherited and war trauma, communicate with your ancestors, and reconnect with the deeper story of who you are.

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