War trauma, real or imagined, affects everyone in the family, for generations. The unwillingness to learn the truth and change our perspective of what really happened, can further cause damage to our souls and those of our descendants.
My job as a military researcher is not always easy. Family stories told to me are not always accurate. Sometimes my radar goes off alerting me that something is very wrong with what I am being told. In other cases, it feels mostly correct. Then there are a few cases of stolen valor where the stories were mostly imagined. Family members do not always respond well to hearing their father, uncle, grandfather, brother, etc. were not who they thought they were.
Recently, I responded to a client about her dad’s military service. After we did the research, my report was written and information analyzed, the story was not what she grew up hearing. She is another case of a child of a veteran seeking evidence to prove her father was exactly who she believed him to be.
Discovering What Happened
One of the gifts I have as a family and military researcher, is to go beneath the layers of the story and records. I am aware of the finer details other do not pick up on. I dive deeper than any other researcher and ask the tough questions when I speak with a potential client, or through the research process. My clients always leave with a different perspective of what happened. They always leave with many questions they can now ask themselves about who their veteran was, explore the reasons behind words, actions, trauma and drama experienced at home, abuse, anger, PTSD, you name it. My clients also re-examine who THEY are now armed with this new information about their family member and family history.
This is very healing in most cases. We not only heal ourselves but all those connected to us.
Changing Our Perspective
Is it time to change our perspective of our family members and what they experienced that created unhappiness, PTSD, trauma, drama, rage, hate, etc. in their lives which of course affected us? What if we dropped our points of view about who they SHOULD be or WERE? What if we were open to learning about their experience to better understand them? What would that heal? What would we learn about them and ourselves?
We are living in a time where it seems chaos reigns and nothing but hate, drama, trauma, war, and destruction survive. What if we began changing our stories to drop the points of view and allow things and people to be just what they are?
Asking Questions & Promising to Find the Truth
When we promise family members to find the TRUTH as they prepare to die, or commit to finding it no matter what it takes after they die, who does this serve? Are we dishonoring their memory if we find out what they told us was not true? And true according to who?
So many family stories circulate and often it is like the telephone game. A story is told, told again, distorted or embellished in some way, and by the time it reaches us – does it resemble what happened? With these stories can we really uncover what happened that created so much negativity in our lives and the world? Are they a stepping stone to discovery? I say yes.
Why are we so tied to these stories as the ONLY TRUTH? What would be possible if we let them go and saw what really was or is?
Do the dead always care what we say about them and how we feel? Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. As infinite beings we all have CHOICE. We make choices based on what happened in past lives and what has happened to us in this life combined with society’s view of how we are expected to be, the box we are expected to fit in. What if something different was possible?
In the big picture of things, does it really matter what the story is? Are we really that conditioned to keep them and never heal and release them? To never accept who our family member really was and what they experienced that they were unable to release and heal from?
I held onto many of my stories for years. It is only in the last decade that I started to research and find the truth, then heal and release them. Most do not define me in this moment. Some have less control or no control over me today.
One of the missions in my life and business is to help people find the truth of what happened in their families. Through military and family research, classes, coaching and facilitation, I am able to help people release their stories so they no longer control their life. Would you like to learn more? There are many ways I can help you.
Sign up for my newsletter and receive access to the member’s area on Finding The Answers Journey. You must opt-in to my marketing emails to receive the upcoming classes, discounts, and offers emails. In a couple of weeks I will be sending out information on the July 2019 registration session of Your Family’s War Journey: A Transformational Master Class.
Your Family’s War Journey: A Transformational Master Class is a 6-week class in which participants have reading and writing assignments, there is a weekly live facilitation Zoom event, a Community in which to discuss what comes up in our research, family stories, what we are reading and writing. A safe place of non-judgment to ask questions and receive feedback. An experience that takes us beyond family or military research into the exploration of our private lives, the lives of our family members, trauma observed, and the war. This class after two weeks has already changed the participants lives on a major scale. I am excited to see where they end up after the class ends.
You may also hire me for WWI, WWII, Korean War, or Vietnam War research. Additionally, I also offer coaching/facilitation sessions to help you with your research and writing projects. Email me today to ask for details and schedule your free phone consultation to discuss options and fees. We always Find The Answers for our clients.
© 2019 WWII Research & Writing Center
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