Questions and thoughts on soul contracts and our ancestors in war
I sat down at Starbucks recently to work on my upcoming book. A military research book that doesn’t currently exist on the market. Of all the books I’ve written, this one requires the most from me. The most vulnerability, knowledge, willingness to be open and share, and the most healing I have done so far while writing. It also requires me to take readers to places no other genealogist or military research has dared.
I’m both scared and excited to continue writing this book.
Going through my notes on the section of the book I’ve been in great resistance about writing, I found a document full of questions I asked myself to explore. Today I wonder – am I the only one who asks these questions or do others ask as well? Some of the questions may seem a little crazy, especially my big one – Do you ever think your ancestors unconsciously or consciously because of a soul contract, made choices that impact you today – JUST so you could heal yourself and the ancestral lineage?
Humanity is in a time where we are being asked to break abusive and toxic cycles, do our inner work, be better humans, and live in the energy of love. I can’t help but wonder if my ancestors knew this time was coming and that I would be the one in our family to create something new. Based on the experiences I’ve had in writing books, research, traveling and living in Europe, I kind of think they did.
Did My Ancestors Experience ‘THAT’ So I Could Heal?
When I wrote my first book in 2010, I wasn’t in a space to connect with my ancestors on the other side. That came in 2012 in a strong way. This isn’t to say I wasn’t always intuitive, knew things others didn’t, saw patterns, and was magical. I was all those things but I had to hide them growing up. In 2012 the door opened to allow me to safely explore all of this.
In 2012 I also moved out with my boys and filed for divorce. I ended a toxic and abusive relationship. I was also deep into military research and writing. As I began writing my book, Stories of the Lost, about four ancestors who died in World War I and World War II, I began communicating with my ancestors. A few showed up as ancestral guides to help me on the journey. My grandpa Joseph Holik showed up as a broken soul on the other side. One I’ve spent 30 years trying to understand and make peace with and I’m happy to say, I’ve succeeded.
As those ancestors came forward for that specific book, I began to wonder, did they die in war so I would be forced to confront our family’s war trauma? So I would meet the widow of my Flying Tiger so we could both heal and tell stories on deeper levels? Did my grandpa choose, when he created his soul contract to come to that life, to be diagnosed with schizophrenia at the end of his military service so I could help others heal military trauma because I lived his?
Did we create soul contracts so when I arrived, I would be ready to do this work? Did I make soul contracts with the people I met in Europe, many of whom I knew in past lives? Many of whom there was negative karma to clear.
I think so.
Crazy questions right? But have you ever sat with any of these?
- Have you ever really questioned WHY you are called to work on the lives of certain ancestors?
- Why you are called to travel to certain places?
- Why some of you do energy work and healing for your ancestors, yourself, and the places you visit?
The Questions
These are a few of the questions I’ve asked myself as I examine research I’ve done or books I’ve written. I connect the dots, see the beliefs, behaviors, and patterns in my lineage, and believe we must have made soul contracts to go through these things together.
The current book I’m writing.
My Grandpa, Joseph Holik, was diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 39 while serving in World War II. After his Honorable Discharge he was locked up in Downey Veterans Hospital the last 17 years of his life. He was home long enough after service to get grandma pregnant with my dad.
Looking at grandpa’s photos as a young man, married father, and sailor in service, I can see in his eyes, a soul burning bright. An otherworldly look, a gaze, his knowing. This changes as he ages and definitely when he goes to war. He becomes lost. Sad. DISCONNECTED.
When we identify the disconnection we can do energy work to help the ancestor reconnect. I wonder….
- What if grandpa was a spiritual man who had to hide it and his gifts?
- What if his experiences in war broke him? What if he could no longer hide his gifts and intuition?
- What if he was supposed to locked away because our souls had agreed I would be the one to help free him, me and our lineage?
Stories of the Lost
This book is about Michael who died in World War I. His brother Joseph, my great grandpa was an ancestral guide for many years. Robert, the Flying Tiger who was killed three weeks after marrying Virginia Scharer. I connected with her in 2005, met her in 2012 and wrote in her book in 2014. Frank, the Replacement soldier who was killed within 24 hours of being placed in the 29th Division in June 1944. Because of him I met my now 100 year old World War II veteran cousin Ray in the Chicago area in 2024. And James who was killed in the 90th Division during the Battle of the Bulge. Another ancestral guide who traveled Europe with me and ensured I met Johan, my late Dutch husband. I wonder….
- What if Robert and Frank, Michael, James and my great grandpa Joseph were there to help me heal old wounds, make the ancestral PTSD rise to be healed and released?
- What if the research into their service led to the writing and teaching of my military research strategy? No one else was doing this work back then.
- What if their presence, more my great grandpa Joseph and James, were required to allow me to travel, meet specific people I had karma with that had to be cleared in Europe, and get married to a Dutch man who carried his own war trauma? Without them, and their sacrifices, would I have gone to Europe? Would I have made those choices?
- What if I had to learn and go through all that with my ancestors to hold the light as humanity shifts in this decade?
Peeling the Onion…The Spiraling Layers to Research, Writing, and Healing
Healing is like peeling an onion. One layer at a time. Life experiences also spiral around higher and higher to return to us to see how we will respond after we “think” we healed something, until it’s complete.
This has been a 30 year journey for me with my ancestors. Every day I’m peeling back the layers of family patterns, trauma, gifts, resilience through the research. I’m trying to answer the questions I asked.
I realize to do this level of work and ask these questions, we have to be willing to see the truth – whatever that is for us. This is what so many don’t understand…the truth as they see it is THEIR truth. It doesn’t have to be anyone else’s. For a long time I didn’t know this, probably because my frequency wasn’t high enough to rise above the division, anger, and hate we experience here. The less we focus on the noise and chaos in the world, and the more we focus inward, the more healing takes place. The more that ripples out into the world to create change.
Not everyone is ready for this change or inner work. That’s ok. Each of us is on a different path, different timeline, different past life and this life experiences and traumas. Different lenses through which we view the world and different soul missions.
Questions we might ask today are, how can my ancestors help me? What has my research path looked like, who did I meet, how did I change? How does this impact others? What more am I here to do with the help of my ancestors?
Have you ever asked these questions? Do you feel they are too crazy to ask?
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