Recently, Homefront Archives made a post about Military Spouse History. While Melissa was talking more about current military wives, it sparked a question for me. What was expected of my Grandma Libbie while Grandpa Joseph was serving in the Navy in World War II?
If you’ve been around a while, you know Joe was taken off his last ship, diagnosed with schizophrenia and honorably discharged. Sent home, grandma got pregnant with my dad and then grandpa was locked away in the Downey Veterans Hospital to live out the last 16 years of his life. I discovered many years ago I was living out Libbie’s PTSD, their combined trauma and so much ancestral pain. As I continue to write my book about all of this, I wondered why I had not done deeper research yet into Libbie’s life specifically during the period Joseph was at war.
The Expectations of War-Time Wives
Maintain the Home Front
Wives were expected to keep the home front stable, grounded, calm, peaceful, warm, and waiting for her husband to return. She may have done this by keeping up to date on the latest news, sharing with her children as needed, keeping a clean house. Raising good, patriotic, helpful children.
Maintain the Mask
Wives were expected, in public, to always be cheerful and brave, to wear the mask of confidence and no fear. All the while trying to deal with their fear in private. Women were urged to keep letters to their husbands positive. They were told to avoid telling him and burdening him with worries about illness, lack of money, loneliness, or anything else that might provide stress as he did his important job. Gloomy, sad, or desperate letters were to be avoided as it could impact his performance and mental state.
Never cheat. Remain faithful.
We all know that while overseas, some men strayed. It was almost expected. On the home front, fidelity was treated as a public and patriotic matter and rarely excused. Women were not allowed to stray and when their husbands returned, were to pretend that never (could have) happened. “Dear John” letters were discouraged, although they did happen.
Manage the household and raise the children.as a single parent.
Women became the sole decision maker in the home when their husbands went to war. New skills had to be learned and new ways of doing things. Women paid the bills, managed family allowances and government allotments, handled repairs or hired someone, and dealt with landlords. Most women had never done this level of work before and there was a lot to learn.
Mothers often gave birth alone without their husbands present. Then they were tasked with raising the child(ren) on their own. Handling schooling, emotional care, and discipline were now solely the mother’s responsibility. If she was working to help pay the bills, it is likely her stress level was even higher due to lack of time at home to handle everything and relax.
Libbie’s three boys were older during the war. I believe they were 8, 10, and 12 when grandpa enlisted in late 1943. Her job may have been slightly easier than a new mother with a brand new baby, but she still struggled. Libbie also had her parents who lived nearby to help. Nearby family was more common back then than it is today.
Grow Food. Ration, Conserve, Preserve.
Victory gardens were encouraged across the country after the war broke out. If women could grow some of their own food and share with the community, more of the country’s stores could be used for feeding our troops.
Growing your own food also mean preserving it for future use. I’m not sure if my grandma ever canned food. As a child I remember her not being much of a cook – at least when we visited, she rarely cooked more than sandwiches.
Wives also would have had to manage grocery shopping with rationing in effect. Sugar, butter, meat, gas, shoes, tires, and more had to be carefully planned for. Meals were stretched, ingredients changed, and every bit of cooking fat was saved. Clothes were mended, metal collected and thrifting became a patriot endeavor. I know in my family, the Holik family kept everything. When my Uncle Rich died after grandma, his house and basement were filled with everything they might someday use.
Endure the possibility of death.
Every woman dreaded the Western Union telegram man riding by on his bicycle. It only meant bad news. Wounds, serious illness, Missing In Action (MIA) status, or death. Wives who lost a husband, or son, became “Gold Star” wives or mothers. When bad news reached them, women were supposed to be dignified about it rather than publicly mourning or screaming.
Prepare for his return, and then step back.
There were a lot of articles printed in the newspapers and books written about the returning servicemen starting in later 1943 and continuing through the end of the war. Women were being prepared and told how to speak and treat the returning veteran. Wives were educated on how to give up their freedoms, wartime jobs, and start restoring a “normal” pre-war home so their husbands could more easily adjust.
Wives in reality had to hide their changes in roles and feelings about that to manage their husbands. Managing sometimes meant dealing with his anger, silence, emotional withdrawal, abandonment, abuse, trauma or drinking, usually with no professional support. The tools that exist today to help veterans and their families did not exist back then. This is one reason we need to study war trauma and how it trickled down through the DNA to each of us. We are all impacted by the veteran and civilian’s trauma.
Libbie’s War-Time Life
There are so many other ways women had to cope during the war and expectations of wives but let’s talk a little about Libbie’s story.
I’ll be honest, I’ve done more research into the family as a whole and my grandpa’s Naval service than Libbie’s life in those almost two years Joseph was serving. Here is what I know.
During the years grandpa was gone, he was able to return home a couple of times on leave. She held down the fort at home raising three boys and had the support of her parents who lived nearby. Her sister in-law, Mae Privoznik sent her step-son, James to war. James was Killed In Action 11 January 1945. You can read his story in my book Stories of the Lost.
I do not believe Libbie worked outside the home during the war.
Beyond this, I know very little.
Sad isn’t it? We are taught our whole lives to focus on the veterans and give little thought to those at home. Well, it’s time to change that. There are many resources and records I can draw upon to learn a little more about Libbie’s life during the war so stay tuned for more on her.
Have you researched the wives and woman and children on the home front during WWII? What have you discovered? How did this change how you viewed your family?
Additional Resources
While I haven’t yet explored these, did you know Nancy Shea wrote a series of books called:
The Army Wife (1942)
The Air Force Wife (1951)
The Navy Wife (1942)
The WAACS (1943)
Ready to Learn More?
If you are ready to learn more about WWII research, generational trauma, or the lives of your family before the war, I have live and pre-recorded classes at my online course site, the Ancestral Souls Wisdom School. In November 2026, I have a new class, Before the Uniform, which talks about who the veteran was prior to military service. Discovering this helps us to understand who they became as a result of war.
Don’t want to do the research yourself? I take research and book clients. Email info@wwiirwc.com to schedule a free project consult to discuss what’s possible, fees, time, and more.
© 2026 WWII Research and Writing Center
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