Genealogy and military research can tell us so much about our family. We can learn where people lived across the generations. Family members may have photos to share so we know what our ancestors looked like. We may discover what kind of jobs they held, education they had (or didn’t), military service, land ownership, health issues, and causes of death. All of those things and other facts we can discover are amazing and fun, but how often do we consider the less fun things our ancestors experienced or lived?
One thing I believe we have been missing in our exploration in the field of genealogy and military research are the struggles, traumas, hard times, generational patterns, and resilience of our ancestors.
Exploring family patterns can be a valuable way to understand your family’s history and gain insights into your own behavior and relationships. Have you ever wondered why you believe the things you do? Why you live they way you do? Why you and your mom can’t seem to get along all the time? Why you repeat experiences, patterns, or relationships and seem to never be able to change it or be truly happy?
When we are willing to look at the beliefs, behaviors, patterns, and traumas of our family members and ancestors beyond the veil, in addition to the energies we bring to our life and relationships, we can end toxic and abusive cycles. We can create a more joyful, abundant life with amazing relationships. We just have to know where to begin this journey and take the first steps. Are you ready? I have some steps and tools that can be helpful in exploring family patterns:
- Grab a journal and start with yourself.
Before you start exploring your family patterns, it’s important to have a good understanding of yourself. Reflect on your own beliefs and why you believe some of the things you do. Consider your personality traits, behavior patterns, and relationships. Ask yourself what you have learned from your family and how those experiences have shaped you. Also ask yourself why you have not questioned some of the beliefs and behaviors of your family. Explore these without judgment, which I know is hard to do. Just be the observer in this journal exercise.
- Have conversations or conduct interviews with family members.
Talking to family members can be a valuable source of information about your family history and patterns. You can start with parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, or anyone who can provide insight into your family’s past. Some questions to ask might include:
– What are some of your earliest memories of your family?
– What beliefs, behaviors, or patterns have you observed in your family that you knew you did not want to continue as you got older and started your own family?
– What was your relationship like with your parents or siblings?
– What was your relationship like with your aunts, uncles, cousins, and other family members?
– Growing up, what were some of the family values and traditions that were important to your family? Do you continue any of these in your own family as an adult? If not, what did you stop and why?
– What were some of the challenges your family faced? Have you faced those same challenges as an adult?
- Use online genealogy resources.
Online genealogy resources like Ancestry.com, Fold3.com, Internet Archive, or FamilySearch.org can be helpful in tracing your family and military history and identifying patterns. You can also use these resources to create a family tree and learn more about your ancestors.
- Look for patterns.
As you gather information about your family history, create timelines for your family members and look for patterns that emerge. The timeline is an amazing tool to gather information and view your family members through a different lens. For example, you may notice that certain events happen in each generation, perhaps there are pregnancy or child losses that recur, or behaviors have been passed down through multiple generations.
- Consider family therapy, energy healing modalities, or ancestral healing sessions.
If you’re struggling with understanding or managing family patterns, family therapy can be a valuable resource. A therapist can help you explore the dynamics of your family and provide guidance on how to improve relationships. If therapy is not for you, working with an energy healer or ancestral healer like myself might be what you need. The tools that work for one person may not work for others so always seek out multiple options and choose what’s best for you.
Exploring family patterns can be complex and emotional, however it is a valuable way to gain insight into yourself and why your family made choices to live the way they lived. Using a combination of genealogy and military research, family stories and conversations, tools like the timeline, and therapy or ancestral healing, you can end old patterns and heal yourself and everyone in your lineage. You will also better understand your family’s history and how it has shaped your life.
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