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Book Review: Ajax, The Dutch, The War

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A little background on me before I dive into the book review.

By 2015 my healing journey & military work allowed me to travel in Europe & create a life both there & in Chicago. I became embedded in Dutch society, life, relationships, healthcare, politics, culture, got a deep dive into grief when I became a caregiver to someone I was married to in the Netherlands.  All of that gave me a unique perspective on our world & the layers of trauma we each carry, no matter where we live.

I visited battlefields & burial sites, religious & cultural sites, heard family & war stories, some of which brought me to my knees in grief as I channeled the people telling the stories. I understand context that many people do not. This makes me unique in the way I can help clients heal on both sides of the ocean to explore their personal & ancestral family patterns & war trauma. I have studied & understand genealogy & military records, & what information, secrets, patterns, inherited trauma, feelings, & emotions they may share.

I’m both an outsider and yet, not quite an outsider. I question everything.

Book Review

Please note the author makes it clear the original Dutch version is not as expanded as the later written English version. He conducted more interviews and did more research for the English version. If you want to entire story, read the English version.

I’m not a huge fan of sports to be honest. I did attend several Sparta Rotterdam games and watched a lot of Chelsea (UK) football when I was married and living in the Netherlands. Before that I mostly watched sports with my boys on occasion. However, I really enjoyed this book, Ajax, The Dutch. The War. It really gave me a different look at Dutch culture, the war, how and why some commemorate everything about the war (that comes from guilt and shame primarily from what I gleamed in this book), and put many puzzle pieces together of things I intuitively sensed, but the people I surrounded myself with either denied or ignored. There is a cultural narrative to uphold that a good Dutch citizen can’t deviate from. I have seen this cultural narrative in every country, including the U.S. Isn’t it time we stop following the narrative and be honest and heal?

Traveling in Europe, living in the Netherlands, exploring different cultures, being embedded in society, having attended numerous WWII commemorations and memorial services, and having a military research background, I got a different experience of the Dutch than I had after six years back and forth overseas. 

This book talks about Ajax, the Amsterdam football club and their ties to the local Jewish Community (pre-WWII annihilation.) The author shares stories about the Jewish players, what happened to them, how the club treated them, and what took place after the war. The author also tells stories of other country players from Germany, the UK, Italy. We learn how in many countries, especially the Netherlands, football was continued to be played because the country was occupied and not really at war, as compared to other countries, until the Allies arrived late 1944.

The author is not a born in the Netherlands Dutch man, although he did grow up in Leiden. He has an outsiders perspective of the “good” Dutch during the and the “bad” Dutch during the war based on the interviews he conducted and the research he did. How interesting it was to learn that the Dutch Institute for War Documentation in Amsterdam carries a lot of materials on the Resistance and very little on the Collaborators. I’ve often heard from Dutch friends how stupid and backwards Americans are because we rewrite our history, but they do the same thing. Every country does this. Hide the history you don’t want people to see because it might change how outsiders view you.

The author explained the pillars of Dutch society from centuries ago and how they were always taught to OBEY. CONFORM. Be LAW ABIDING. DO NOT SHINE TOO BRIGHT. NEVER ASK QUESTIONS. This type of cultural programming was reinforced during the war and the Dutch citizens ended up being taken over by the Germans and helped them round up the Jews. Yes, there was resistance but the way the author explains it, many citizens barely knew there was a war on because they continued with life as normal, outside of Rotterdam which had been bombed, and until late 1944 when the Allies arrived to shake up the country, and then the Hunger Winter took place before the north was liberated. The Dutch really didn’t suffer as they say they did until the Allies arrived. The way I have always heard it, the Dutch suffered the entire war, but if you honestly look at the timeline……I question that. Was there fear there? Yes. Was there constant daily destruction the entire time they were occupied? No. The author gives some compelling evidence of all of this.

The author shares so many stories and so much research, it really made me question everything I knew about the war in the Netherlands, or any country really. Since I read this book, several other books and resources have shown up to give me a different perspective of the war, especially in Germany. I invite you to question everything you were taught and consider changing your mind and possibly healing the past.

It was interesting to read about the football clubs ongoing games in the country, throughout Europe and the UK as the war was raging. Football it seems never really ended. The author shares where in the Netherlands and at which football stadiums you find war memorials. And which you do not because the club wants to hide their past.

I would say the overall theme of the book is how did the Dutch really function during the war? The author argues: “Intellectually most Dutch people who think about the war know the Netherlands was cowardly and grey. Yet, as Orwell said, it is possible to know and not know at the same time. Alongside this knowledge there survives a hardy popular fantasy of a heroic little land where everyone was in the Resistance, Asterix’s village writ large. This is the story the Dutch prefer to tell foreigners.”

That is the story I have always been told, yet this book made me question all of it.

Have you read this book? There is so much I could say about it but that would skew your opinion if you read it. If you looked at my copy, it is tabbed up with colorful tabs – probably about 50 and the pages are written on and passages underlined. I had a lot of strong emotions move through me as I read this book. Not only because I lived in the Netherlands and listened to the stories, attended the events and bought into their version of the narrative, but also because it opened up space for me to question and change my perspective on the entire war and all the people involved. It opened space for healing to come through for me, for them, the past, and the trauma that still resides there.

Honestly if you read this book, it is one you could go back to again and see the deeper layers of history – especially as it has repeated today. As I have watched the Dutch news since March 2020, I see so many similarities between WWII and this global war today. I understand how their culture and personal/cultural/collective trauma forms the individuals as it does. No judgment, just witnessing the past and present. Wondering how their society will change in the future. No matter which country you live in, you will learn something from this book.

Since reading this book and having gone through everything I did in Europe, more of my experience and journey makes sense. All those intuitive hits I got that I couldn’t figure out or they wouldn’t fit into the giant puzzle that is my life – now they do.

If you enjoy learning the non-politically correct narrative of a subject, exploring different perspectives, have an open mind which invites change, I highly recommend this book. 

If you would like to explore more of your stories and how your ancestors and culture affects you, sign up for my course, Exploring Family Patterns and Stories. It might just change how you look at yourself and your family.

© 2021 WWII Research & Writing Center

What Are We Creating?

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It’s a beautiful day in the Netherlands. Our staff at the WWII Research and Writing Center have been busy creating new things. We can’t wait to share!

What are we working on now?

Here’s a quick video to tell you.

Jennifer Holik from Amsterdamse Bos, Amsterdam, Netherlands

Traveling in their Footsteps – The Final Days

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Monday 2 November arrived and brought with it the last two days of my trip. I spent the day packing and writing before I drove to Amsterdam to check into my final hotel of the trip. That evening I was supposed to meet with DPAA, the Defense POW/MIA Accounting Agency. This was another meeting scheduled at the last minute prior to my trip. Someone who knew I was speaking at Groesbeek altered one of the DPAA WWII historians about me. After some emails and a phone conversation, I was going to meet Christine C. and her team in Amsterdam the day they flew over to the Netherlands to do whatever they planned to do.

I met the group for dinner and we had really great conversations about their work and mine. One important component was the topic of education. I feel strongly that people do not have enough information about the Graves Registration Service and their job during and after WWII. Nor do they have enough information about WHY bodies could not always be recovered or why it has taken 70+ years, in some cases to recover them. This will be the topic of a future article and will feature in Volume 4 of my book series in 2016. The meeting was great and who knows. There may be an opportunity to work together in the future.

Rijksmuseum Amsterdam (28)

Tuesday, 3 November brought my final full day in the Netherlands. I felt as if I had done everything I was consciously and somehow, subconsciously, I was supposed to on the trip. I was at peace and ready to go home the next day.

I spent the day with a friend at the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam and enjoyed the art, artifacts, and conversation. The museum was full of energy, a lot of it centered in rooms which held medieval period art and artifacts. Especially the weapons room where I wondered, how many ways can you kill a man?

That room brought up a lot of feelings and issues from the past and a lot of negative and heavy energy. Some of it was attached to my friend because I knew he and I went back lifetimes. I did a lot of clearing in that room around these issues coming up and the items in the room. A few tears fell in the process but in the end, it is what was necessary.

Jen 3 Nov 2015 (1)
Peaceful and ready to head home.

At the end of a great day I prepared to fly home the next morning, grateful for all the experiences I had, people I met, and ready for the next stage in life. Once I navigated my way through the airport and had breakfast and was waiting at the gate, I admit to a little happy dance that I had traveled alone. This was not something I thought I could do a year ago, but when the time is right, magic happens. I was certain that a three year period of working too much and solidifying the foundation of my ever changing business, was over and a new one was beginning. A period in life where it would not be all about work but some balance would arrive.

So what else happened on this trip? What led me to travel alone besides what I already talked about in these articles? And what happened on the first trip to Europe that changed everything? I guess you’ll have to wait for the book to come out!

© 2015 Jennifer Holik

Traveling in their Footsteps – 25 October 2015

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Zaltbommel (32)In the Netherlands, daylight savings time came a week earlier than in the U.S. This was good because I got an extra hour to roam around Amsterdam. The anxious energy from the morning however, had returned after I got back to my hotel to sleep. It was a long night of strange dreams and wondering if I was going to get up when I was supposed to. I had plans to meet another friend. When I finally woke up in the morning, I was so NOT myself I had to cancel my plans. The energy had shifted to sad, anxious, uncertainty, and a general feeling of unease. The best thing to do was be alone.

After breakfast at the hotel I made my way back to Ammerzoden determined to be alone and deal with the energy swirling everywhere. I met a lot of people from the past the day before, a couple who really touched my heart. One in particular left me with a lot to think about where the future is concerned.

The owner of my B&B had pointed out several places I should try to see in the Netherlands and one of them was on my way back to Ammerzoden. I saw wZaltbommel (5)hat appeared to look like a castle from the highway and a sign for Zaltbommel. The car kind of pulled itself off the highway and toward village center.

I found a great parking spot behind a castle and near a forest. It was a quiet Sunday morning as I wandered into the center of the village. I found buildings which had stones on them from the 1500 and 1600s. Near one was a café with outdoor seating. The air was crisp, but the sun was shining and a calm breeze was blowing. It was a perfect morning to sit outside and enjoy a bit of tea and light lunch.

After lunch I strolled through the village and found a gorgeous church. It seemed all the original entrances were closed and locked but I heard the most beautiful choir singing as I walked past taking pictures. The building was beautiful as were the buildings surrounding it. I continued my stroll on cobbled streets to the village gates to see the harbor.

Zaltbommel (52)As I headed back toward the car I saw a cemetery. I love cemeteries. Most of them have very calming, peaceful energy. Two people were talking at the gate of this one so I chose to not enter but walked the forest path around the cemetery. The sun shined brightly through the trees as colorful leaves and acorns fell around me. I saw the most beautiful ancient tree in the back of the cemetery. The kind of tree you just want to hug. Since I couldn’t go into the cemetery, I found a tall, old tree on the path to lean against, ground myself, and draw power from. I took the most beautiful selfie by that tree as the sun beams swirled around me.Zaltbommel (54)

When I felt the energy had grounded enough for me to move on, I headed back to Ammerzoden and took a walk into the village to again light candles in the chapel. Lighting candles was becoming a peaceful routine for me. It gave me extra time to be still and think about the trip, my life, where I had been and where things were headed. And, most importantly, make another wish that I hope someday comes true.

In the evening I stood outside my B&B as the almost full moon rose above the fields. Full moons have power and allow us to let go of things and accept new things into our lives. As I stood under that moon making wishes and declaring intentions and releasing things that no longer served me, old stories surfaced. I ended up going back inside to write a story about a past life and another great love. Maybe it was a sign that someday a great love will show up in this life.

© 2015 Jennifer Holik

Traveling in their Footsteps – 24 October 2015

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There are days you know will change your life and nothing will ever be the same. You can feel the energy building, passion for what you do rising, and excitement for what the day may bring (and possibly a bit of panic,) reaching a crescendo. I knew this day I was going to meet someone important from a long ago past life. Then, he was Henry and I was Elizabeth. Now I knew we had a connection with war. I already had a good idea of what our souls had agreed to do in this life and felt we had done most of the work. Elizabeth told me bits of their life together in stories I wrote over the summer.

I woke up that morning early with the intention of driving the hour to Amsterdam and having breakfast at the hotel where I was going to stay that evening. As I prepared to leave I was both excited and anxious for the day. I told myself to calm down, it was just another speaking engagement and I have given this talk a bazillion times and it was all going to be fine.

The universe laughed and said,

‘Yes but you know this is not just an ordinary speaking engagement. This is no ordinary day and the people you meet will change your life.’

CRASH 40-45 Museum (44)
Outside the museum after my talk that afternoon. I was a bit tired.

I was grateful for the hour drive, alone in the dark, to Amsterdam. It gave me time to clear the anxious energy and settle down. I enjoyed a nice breakfast and made my way to the CRASH ’40-’45 Museum where I was to speak later. There I met two people from the past. Henry and a soldier I took care of in another life during a war.

The soldiers I have cared for as a WWI nurse or in other lives, show up all the time. I recognize their energy by their behavior which is always very sweet and kind. Quietly wishing them light and love and releasing them allows both our souls to be at peace. And one thing I learned on this trip is I have carried through thousands of lifetimes, the heavy guilt of not being able to save so many of the soldiers. Sometimes their bodies and sometimes also their souls. Little did I know the healing and release that was about to come for all of us in a most unexpected place.

The energy at the museum that morning was crazy and I’m sure my energy just added to it. While there weren’t a lot of people from the museum there when I arrived, there seemed to be a lot of voices. The bell over the door kept ringing when someone opened it. It felt like too much all at once in a small space. But I kept clearing the energy and breathing deeply and after a few hours and before I spoke, it died down a bit.

I had a wonderful tour of the museum given to me by Ed the museum coordinator. He showed me the main highlights of the collection and told me a lot about the history of the WWII air war in the area. We had a light lunch and then prepared for the program.

Speaking at CRASH 40-45 museum (5)Once the program began, the energy died down. The room was ¾ filled with people who wanted to learn more about researching American soldiers. My talk was similar to my program, “The Day That Lived in Infamy” which I give at home. In all my programs I tell stories rather than run down a dry list of facts and figures. Stories capture people’s imaginations. Stories make people THINK and FEEL something. The main difference between my talk in Europe and the one at home is the ending.

Michael KokoskaAt the end of my program in Europe I read the final pages of Michael Kokoska’s story from my book, Stories of the Lost. The end of the story could apply to anyone’s soldier, any war, any time period, because Michael’s father talks about his son coming home after the war. Not walking off the train, but in a flag draped casket. The story allows us to see how connected we are regardless of time and place. It brings to life the very real pain and love this father felt for his son and his sacrifice. And it provides an example of how you can take all the research and put it into something people will remember.

When I was finished reading Michael’s story, many people were crying. Breaths were held and I had to tell the audience to breathe. The impact was made.

The last of my afternoon at the museum was spent meeting people, selling and signing books, and seeing the larger pieces (an airplane!) in the other part of the museum. Then it was off to the hotel to have a bit of quiet time and freshen up so I could spend the evening in Amsterdam!

CRASH 40-45 Museum (61)
Jan, Jennifer, and Ed seeing the airplane and larger plane pieces in the second building.

Speaking at CRASH 40-45 museum (1)
Jennifer talking to a young WWII researcher of the 1st Infantry Division, Maurits Huijbrechtse.

CRASH 40-45 Museum (60)
See the airplane engine pieces behind me?

 

 

 

 

 

 

My evening in Amsterdam was a night I will never forget. As I stood at the bar in an old pub in Amsterdam drinking a Trappist beer, marveling at how incredible my life is, I almost had to pinch myself repeatedly to make sure I was really there. The rest of the night, well let’s just say it was amazing, and I found a lot of crocodiles and peace on my journey through ancient streets and canals.

© 2015 Jennifer Holik