Jennifer Holik

Military Monday – Remembering Jimmy

January 11, 2016 by Jennifer Holik Leave a Comment

StoriesofLostimage — James Privoznik standing front right.

71 years ago today, 11 January, my cousin James Privoznik, affectionately referred to by the family as Jimmy, was Killed In Action during the Battle of the Bulge. If you have read my October European trip articles, you know a little about James.

To me, he is James, not Jimmy. My friend, and guide in life, love, and work the last three and a half years. Some say the dead do not speak. I believe they do. And as I sit here on 9 January and write this post, it is snowing, just as it was during James’ last days on earth.

James taught me a lot about WWII research, writing, believing in myself, collaborating with others, letting go, and healing. He helped me become a better writer on 14 March 2013 when he whispered in my ear to go write a new introduction to one of my WWII programs I was to give that night. I went home and within 45 minutes had a new introduction that had my audience in tears and held their complete attention. I was set on a path to write about WWII in a much deeper way than most. My writing changed dramatically that day and I will forever be grateful.

I have been able to count on James to show up when I lectured, was writing, needed some inspiration, needed to laugh at myself, or in those moments I felt very lonely……that I was very much loved. He not only helped save our country and freedoms so long ago, but he also helped save me. Sometimes we all just need a little help.

My journey with James began in late 2012 just after I moved out and started a new life. I had his Individual Deceased Personnel File and filed it away. I had not intended to write the books I did about my military family members and therefore had not investigated James’ service. Until within a weekend, four different encounters with people asking about him happened. Then the work began. I was shown a path to take with many detours and a lot of emotional stops and starts. This path allowed me to create things which would help a lot of people remember our soldiers and civilians and what they experienced during the war years.

I wrote James’ story in my book Stories of the Lost. He is also featured in my WWII lecture of the same name. In May 2015 I visited his grave in Luxembourg Cemetery. James wanted to be buried where he fell and not brought home to Chicago. On a rainy day my parents and I flew his burial flag at the cemetery and I visited his grave for the first time. It was a sad morning which led to a lot of healing for both of us.

The next day, 2 May, I was able to meet friends in Luxembourg who took us where James was killed. I walked in the woods among all those who were there that day. That was a very moving experience for me because you could almost see the soldiers in the woods and I definitely felt their presence.

In October 2015 I returned to Europe and once again visited James’ grave in Luxembourg. This was not a stop I originally intended to make, but due to other circumstances, the opportunity was there. It was a gloomy morning as I drove to meet a couple of researchers in Ettelbruck, Luxembourg to embark on a day of Sauer River Crossing sites. Yet, when we drove to the cemetery and after meeting with the Superintendent, the skies began to clear and rays of sunshine fell upon the cemetery as we walked to James’ grave. No longer was visiting the cemetery sad, but a more joyous occasion because I could feel the love there and how much it was appreciated that we visited.

Talking to James. Photo by Doug Mitchell. Used with permission.

James and I had a long talk when I visited him this time and only a few tears were shed. There was great peace.

It has been my experience that our family members show up to help us when we need them most. I believe they have some unfinished business and are also here to make sure we do what we are supposed to. Whether that is fulfill our life’s purpose on this earth or forgive someone or let go of something we no longer need so we can be happier. James has helped me do all of that.

And, just as he made sure I visited his grave twice and had two different experiences – sad and unsettled, to happy and peaceful – I have a feeling he is also rescripting the day he died, so for me, it moves from one of sad reflection to one of joy. Something will take place today that may be the final thing he was to do before he moved on. While I will miss him if this is the case, I will tell him once again I love him and let him go. I know who and what is coming is a long held wish granted and there is no reason to be sad.

Thank you James for everything.

WWII Research Collective – Meet Hughes Glantzberg

January 7, 2016 by Jennifer Holik Leave a Comment

When I launched my website, I started a World War II Research Collective. In this group are researchers around the world who specialize in WWII units, battles, theaters of war, or types of research. To help you get to know the researchers better, I’ll be doing some Q&A with them.

Tell us a little about yourself.

I was introduced to computers back in the 1960s when I served in the US Air Force. When I got out I went to work for IBM where I gained more knowledge about computers. I worked on hardware and software as well as teaching about the computers I worked with. After 28 years with IBM, I retired and decided to start my own computer consulting business.

In 2000, I found out about an Association of men who served in the 461^st Bombardment Group (H) during WWII. Unbeknownst to me, my father had served with this organization. This peaked my interested and in 2001 I became the webmaster of their website (461st.org) and editor of their newsletter, The Liberaider. A few years after that I became the Historian for the Association. As I learned more about the 461^st and what they did to help win the war in Europe, I learned about other bomb groups that worked with the 461^st. Some of these groups had websites and some didn’t, but I knew that there were stories from all the groups that needed to be told. I started doing websites for those that didn’t have one. The problem was to tie those websites together somehow. I knew they all belonged to the Fifteenth Air Force, but I was unable to find a website for the Fifteenth. I finally decided to start one where I could show the overall structure of the organization. The result is www.15thaf.org.

Today I help people interested in learned about their relative(s) who served in the Fifteenth regardless of the bomb or fighter group they were assigned to. If an organization has a website, I simply link to it. If they don’t have one, I create one for them where I can post information as I receive it.

When and how did you become interested in World War II?

I became interested in WWII in 2000, when I was invited to attend a reunion of the 461^st Bombardment Group (H) Association.

What is your main focus of research?

My main focus is on the Fifteenth Air Force and specifically on the 461^st Bombardment Group (H).

Why is this area of research important to you?

This area is important to me because my father was the Commanding Officer of the 461^st. He had never talked about it and I wanted to find out what had happened back then.

Have you met family members of soldiers you have researched? Do you have a story you can share about that?

I’ve met many veterans and family members. I love to hear the stories the veterans have about their time during WWII. As editor of the newsletter for the 461^st, I have published numerous stories from both the veterans and their families. The Liberaider is published twice a year and is 40 pages of stories I’ve collected over the years.

Do you have a story about a great discovery or closure to a project?

It’s difficult to point to a single story that I would classify as a great discovery. All the discoveries I come across are great which is what I try to document them on the various websites. I guess discovering what my father did back then was perhaps the greatest discovery of all as I have no idea he had even been in WWII. Some of the things he did back then are absolutely amazing.

What are your websites?

15th Air Force

49th Bomb Wing

Is there anything else you would like people to know before they contact you?

Although I do get back to everyone who contacts me, I am rather busy and sometimes it may take a while for me to respond. I will respond and prefer to have E-Mail so I have that reminder in front of me until I reply. I have several E-Mail addresses – president@461st.org, historian@461st.org, editor@461st.org and webmaster@461st.org dedicated to the 461^st. People may contact me at any of these addresses or my general address of hughes@glantzberg.us.

Military Monday – January/February World War II Speaking Engagements

January 4, 2016 by Jennifer Holik Leave a Comment

Are you interested in learning how to research World War II service? I have several Chicago-area speaking engagements lined up for the first two months of 2016. Hope to see you at one of them!

Tuesday, January 12, 2016, 7:00 p.m.

The Day That Lived in Infamy. Navigating World War II Military Records

All the records burned! A fire at the National Personnel Records Center in St. Louis, in 1973, destroyed approximately 80% of the Army, Air Corps, and National Guard records. This is not the end of the research possibilities for these soldiers. Many alternative record sources exist to reconstruct service history for these branches. Regardless of service branch, many records exist to tell your soldier, sailor, or Marine’s story. Learn how to research the records of World War II for any branch of the military in this informative program. This event will be held at the Orland Park Library.

Thursday, January 21, 2016 7:00 p.m.

The Day That Lived in Infamy. Navigating World War II Military Records

Monday, February 8, 2016 7:00 p.m.

The Day That Lived in Infamy. Navigating World War II Military Records

Tuesday, February 16, 2016, 7:00 p.m.

Stories of the Lost

A continuation of “Finishing the Story,” we will explore the records available to tell the stories of those who died in service. We will also discuss those who took care of our Soldier Dead, the Graves Registration Service men. Learn about their job and the reasons it took so long to have our soldiers repatriated and what happened to the personal effects during the course of recovery and repatriation. This program will be held at the Algonquin Public Library.

Traveling in their Footsteps – The Final Days

December 23, 2015 by Jennifer Holik Leave a Comment

Monday 2 November arrived and brought with it the last two days of my trip. I spent the day packing and writing before I drove to Amsterdam to check into my final hotel of the trip. That evening I was supposed to meet with DPAA, the Defense POW/MIA Accounting Agency. This was another meeting scheduled at the last minute prior to my trip. Someone who knew I was speaking at Groesbeek altered one of the DPAA WWII historians about me. After some emails and a phone conversation, I was going to meet Christine C. and her team in Amsterdam the day they flew over to the Netherlands to do whatever they planned to do.

I met the group for dinner and we had really great conversations about their work and mine. One important component was the topic of education. I feel strongly that people do not have enough information about the Graves Registration Service and their job during and after WWII. Nor do they have enough information about WHY bodies could not always be recovered or why it has taken 70+ years, in some cases to recover them. This will be the topic of a future article and will feature in Volume 4 of my book series in 2016. The meeting was great and who knows. There may be an opportunity to work together in the future.

Tuesday, 3 November brought my final full day in the Netherlands. I felt as if I had done everything I was consciously and somehow, subconsciously, I was supposed to on the trip. I was at peace and ready to go home the next day.

I spent the day with a friend at the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam and enjoyed the art, artifacts, and conversation. The museum was full of energy, a lot of it centered in rooms which held medieval period art and artifacts. Especially the weapons room where I wondered, how many ways can you kill a man?

That room brought up a lot of feelings and issues from the past and a lot of negative and heavy energy. Some of it was attached to my friend because I knew he and I went back lifetimes. I did a lot of clearing in that room around these issues coming up and the items in the room. A few tears fell in the process but in the end, it is what was necessary.

Jen 3 Nov 2015 (1) — Peaceful and ready to head home.

At the end of a great day I prepared to fly home the next morning, grateful for all the experiences I had, people I met, and ready for the next stage in life. Once I navigated my way through the airport and had breakfast and was waiting at the gate, I admit to a little happy dance that I had traveled alone. This was not something I thought I could do a year ago, but when the time is right, magic happens. I was certain that a three year period of working too much and solidifying the foundation of my ever changing business, was over and a new one was beginning. A period in life where it would not be all about work but some balance would arrive.

So what else happened on this trip? What led me to travel alone besides what I already talked about in these articles? And what happened on the first trip to Europe that changed everything? I guess you’ll have to wait for the book to come out!

Traveling in their Footsteps – 1 November 2015

December 22, 2015 by Jennifer Holik 1 Comment

1 November was one of my very favorite days of the trip. That morning I drove to Achtmaal, Netherlands to meet some of the Friends of the Timberwolves at the Achtmaal Museum. I met Esther, Adrie, Sjaan and Kevin, Peet, and Herman.

The day was perfect. Warm sun, a slight breeze, colorful fall leaves falling from the trees, and new friends. We met at the museum and after coffee and cookies with a history lesson thrown in, I had a tour. Time was short because we had a lot to see that day, so on my trip in May I will have to try to meet with the group again and see more of the museum. The museum houses not only Timberwolf artifacts but also artifacts from other groups who fought in the area.

Upon completion of the tour we hopped in two jeeps and took off through the countryside. Peet was my driver and also the man who gave me a history lesson over coffee. As we drove, he told me about the routes we took, where the fighting occurred and details about the men and war. We stopped at many sites to see where battles happened, including were my friend John Tyrrell was wounded.

It was very interesting to look at my photos and the little bit of video I shot while Peet was driving. There are a lot of red orbs in my photos. Soldiers watching and waiting. Protecting. Usually they don’t show up quite like that in my photos. But there they were!

Seeing the places battles were fought, or concentration camps where so many died, is high on my list of things to do when I visit Europe. What is difficult is trying to picture these now serene, often beautiful places through the eyes of someone who was there 70+ years ago. Trying to wrap my head around what happened there and then put that into words that explain it, is difficult. It is often unimaginable the horrors that took place in such a calm place where crops grow or sheep graze today. And everywhere we went, I could feel the presence of all the soldiers, regardless of side on which they fought, in those fields. In some areas, like the Battle Between the Dikes, the energy was so intense it rode in waves through me.

Timberwolf Tracks (32) — Friends of the Timberwolves having lunch where a battle was once fought.

After visiting many places the Timberwolves fought, we stopped for lunch in an old building where I met Toine Vermunt, a local historian and author. Toine gave me a short history lesson after lunch before we departed the area. He showed me maps of Holland and explained where the Timberwolves were, what happened at the building we were having lunch in, and what we would see in the afternoon. The Battle Between the Dikes. Toine gave me a booklet in English, he wrote a few years ago explaining this battle. I am grateful to have this history.

Laying flowers at memorial (2) — Laying flowers at the memorial.

Toine rode with us to see the area where the Battle Between the Dikes took place, after first stopping to lay flowers at a Timberwolf Memorial. It was as if the Timberwolves were waiting for us because the energy at the memorial about dropped me to my knees.

Our next stop was at a woman’s home where we were allowed to walk behind and stand by the canal and look at the area where the men were fighting and attempting to cross. Another beautiful place where such horror occurred.

Battle of the Dikes area — Battle Between the Dikes

Driving through the areas where the Battle Between the Dikes was fought was intense. The energy from both sides argued with each other. The Allied soldiers were calmer and just wanted to go home. The German side was angry to the point I was feeling a bit nauseous for a while. I cannot count the number of times that day I said clearing statements to send people off into the light and transmute the energy.

As the afternoon began drawing to a close, our last stop was at the Basilica in Oudenbosch. We had about 15 minutes there because they were about to close. It is another place to which I must return. The Basilica is a small replica of St. Peter’s in Rome. Small does not do it justice as it feels gigantic and I felt very tiny in that beautiful place. I was able to light some candles for my soldiers and say some prayers before we left.

The Basilica held a lot of energy also. It felt heavy as if every prayer, question, wish, hope, dream, despair, frustration, and death that ever was left in the building, remained. In a way I was happy to only have 15 minutes in that place. After such an intense day, any longer might have done me in.

After returning the jeeps to the Timberwolf HQ and saying goodbye to my new friend Adrie, the rest of us went out for dinner before I drove back to Ammerzoden, where I was staying for two weeks.

The day I spent with the Friends of the Timberwolves was one of my favorite days from this trip. It was incredible and moving to be surrounded by people with such passion for World War II and our soldiers. People who understood the soldiers still walk in the mists and live among the items in their museum. People who honor the memories of those who gave them their freedom. And, my absolute favorite part of the day – meeting Kevin who is a teenager and has the desire to preserve the stories of these men. It warms my heart to see young people wanting to be involved in this work. It provides the promise that when the older generation is gone and my generation is aging, there will still be someone sharing the stories and memories.

Traveling in their Footsteps – 31 October 2015

December 21, 2015 by Jennifer Holik Leave a Comment

Castle Day!!!!

Today my friend Peter was going to pick me up and show me some sites in the area which were to include a castle and the Air War Monument he had created. I love castles!

Footsteps of British Airmen at Loevenstein

Our first stop was Lovestein Castle where we walked the grounds and took a tour inside. The castle did not have many items inside, so guided tours were not required. You simply used the key you received in the ticket office to enter. In the lower level of the castle they had a couple of racks of clothing you could wear as you toured the castle. We opted to stay in our 2015 clothes.

British Airmen used the castle during World War II and Peter had a photo of them exiting the grounds. He merged it together with one of me standing in the same area.

After the castle we drove to Gorinchem to have lunch in a building that was used by the Germans during the war. Gorinchem was another medieval village and there were old buildings, cobble streets, and a harbor. It was beautiful. Quite peaceful.

Peter den Tek war memorial (3) — Peter den Tek by his war memorial

Peter showed me the Air War Memorial he had erected to honor Allied airmen killed during the war in the Netherlands. It was incredible. Tall, strong, full of energy for the American and British airmen who were killed in the war.

On our way to the Memorial we drove past a Creepy Cool Antique store! It screamed out, ‘VISIT ME!’ Ok, maybe the store didn’t scream that out but the gargoyles out front did. Either way – the place had some fantastic energy!

So of course after we visited the Memorial, we stopped. Peter had known if I did not find the mysterious silver ring prior to Saturday, that a stop at an antique store was going to be greatly appreciated. I had the ring, now we had to explore to see why the store was calling me.

Peter had shopped there before for items for his home. This place had everything you could possibly want and a lot more the owners had never had time to inventory and put out for sale. I wandered around the store to see what called to me. I found some beautiful china tea cups I would have loved to own, but they would have been destroyed in my suitcase on the way home.

There were old medieval looking doors and chandeliers for candles. Old pots that looked like they belong to a witch that I also would have loved to bring home. A mirror that invited me to climb into it, but I did not. There was not enough time to go exploring another universe or wherever it was going to take me.

I found old books, photographs of unnamed individuals, postcards, clothing, furniture, and items for the home like door knobs, fixtures, lights,art, Jesus, doors, pipe, iron decorations for outside the home, and so much more. I think on my next trip to Europe I will spend some time wandering antique stores just to see what’s there. It was really cool.

The Creepy Cool Antique store was our last stop of the day before Peter returned me to my B&B. After an excellent sunny day, I enjoyed a great dinner and beer at the bistro in the village before retiring early. Tomorrow I would meet the Friends of the Timberwolves and hopefully, if the weather cooperated, take a ride in a WWII Jeep!

Traveling in their Footsteps – 30 October 2015

December 18, 2015 by Jennifer Holik Leave a Comment

There are days you wish you could just stay in bed and hide under the covers all day. Never leave. This was one of those days. I’m a positive person and try to be cheerful but I’m human and some days, I’m really not fun to be around. This day I would have been happy staying in my cozy B&B all da. That evening I was supposed to drive to Goree-Overflakkee to give my final talk of the trip. Only the energy was such I didn’t want to. I felt “off.” Strange.

I’m sure it had something to do with the crazy dreams and sleep the night before and the fact I woke up to see a dead guy floating next to me after 1:00 a.m. after I heard the name JOHN. Yep folks – he was there, very peacefully floating and waiting. I’m fairly certain he was once one of my soldiers. I just watched him and after a little while he disappeared. And then I got up and wrote in my journal describing this man I had just seen. Usually I don’t see them.

So…….who was John?

I did eventually get out of bed and try to ground my energy. I went for a short drive to Fort St. Andries in Rossum, Netherlands to see what was there. It was a bit difficult to find even with my GPS but it was a lovely drive. I didn’t spend too much time there, but it was enough to feel less “off.” My afternoon was quiet and then I drove toward Goree-Overflakkee.

Now, my energy was still a bit “off” and crabby when I left. I set the GPS for fastest route and it thought taking a ferry was the fastest route. What?! I knew I had to get onto the island or Goree-Overflakkee but Dennis, who scheduled me to speak never mentioned a ferry! After a frantic text to Dennis, I realized that the ferry was near Heusden. That route was an option I had when I visited Heusden but since there was a bridge right there, I took the bridge. Changing the GPS to scenic route allowed it to think the ferry was not an option and on I went.

The drive should have been less than an hour and a half. It never….ever….seemed to want to end. Note to self for the future: When you set the GPS to scenic route to avoid the ferry 10 minutes from your start point, remember to change it back to fastest route. Why? Because scenic takes you on and off highways to drive the beautiful back roads, which add a million minutes to your drive. Once I realized what I had (not) done, I switched the GPS and was on my way.

Until……..

I was almost on the island and got into the off ramp at the bridge to take me onto said island and it was stopped. No one was moving. 10 minutes, then 15. I was hungry. It was getting dark and I had to speak in a couple hours. Another frantic text off to Dennis and I discovered there was an accident. A couple miles up the road should be clear –if I could only get there.

Trusting the GPS had to know another way onto the island, I left the off-ramp and continued on this bridge about 5 km only to find that no, that was the only way on the island. I turned around and stopped at a gas station for a few minutes to gather my thoughts and breathe. I also texted my friend Mary and expressed my frustration. She said someone would attend the talk who needed me to show up. It seems when our energetic vibrations are raised, we are able to help others, often when we don’t even realize it. She said someone would thank me for being there that night. When I got back on the highway, the traffic was moving in both directions.

Needless to say by the time I hit Middleharnis I was frazzled. I asked the universe for a safe parking spot near somewhere I could have dinner. I had about an hour and a half before I needed to be at the school to set up. I got the parking spot right behind a French restaurant.

I’m very grateful to the angel waitress who could tell I was frazzled and spoke enough English to help me decide tea was better than a beer (which I really wanted at that point) and recommended something delicious for dinner. After I ordered I let Dennis know where I was. He knew I was frustrated and laughed because I had no idea where I was in relation to the school. Turns out I was 100 meters away. He said he’d come to the restaurant and say hello and tell me where to walk when I was finished.

Dinner was yummy, the tea was hot, and I was relaxed at the end of the meal. I walked to the school and met many people who had gathered for drinks prior to the program. A reporter had shown up to listen and I had a short interview prior to the talk. The energy was cheerful which helped reinforce the relaxed energy I was feeling. I was grateful.

Dennis Noteboom and me at talk edited — Dennis and Jennifer after the program.

I gave the program and talked about how to research WWII American soldier service. After I was finished, Dennis spoke about the air war on the island and some of his research. He had many photos of airmen and told us the story of a man who went down in a plane, only to have been later seen by someone who knew him from home, while he was wandering England. The man’s name was Jack.

And then the energy shifted and got all giddy and I almost laughed out loud because JACK is often a nickname for JOHN. The dead guy in my bed the night before, I was certain was this JACK. I asked Dennis if Jack was a nickname and he said he didn’t know. The reports only showed Jack. But the energy said otherwise.

When the program was over, several people stopped to talk to me and one in particular told me a story and then thanked me for being there. He reinforced that sometimes we are supposed to show up because someone needs us. I’m glad he and I both showed up that evening.

After hot tea with some of the attendees and conversation it was time to drive back to Ammerzoden. Dennis walked me back to my car and I told him about John and seeing him when I woke up the night before. He understood.

Was John the Jack, in the story Dennis told? We will never know for sure, but I think it was. And I’m grateful I got to meet him. Sometimes all the soldiers need is for someone to acknowledge them, to see them before they can move on peacefully.

Isn’t that all any of us really want – someone to really SEE us?

Traveling in their Footsteps – 29 October 2015

December 17, 2015 by Jennifer Holik Leave a Comment

There were many instances on this trip I wished someone was following me with a camera or that I had a driver so I could shoot photographs as the car rolled along country roads. The morning of 29 October was one of these instances as I left the hotel after a beautiful walk in the woods where the trees danced with joy, to make my way back to Ammerzoden. Today, I was determined to find this silver ring.

The drive took me over rolling hills as the sun shone brightly amidst the trees of red, orange, and gold. As I drove down a hill toward a piece of road covered over with a cathedral-like canopy, it felt like today, 29 October, was a very important day in one of my past lives. A day on which I married someone I loved very much. The energy was sweet and intense and I knew today I would find my ring.

My car drove itself to ‘s-Hertogenbosch about 15 minutes from my B&B in Ammerzoden. I asked a friend the day before if he knew of any antique stores in the city and I had an address. When I arrived in the city, I only had a couple hours to spend there because I had to be on a Skype call that afternoon. Parking was easily found and I took a walk into the center of the city. I found a café and had some hot tea before going off in search of this jewelry store.

Only it really wasn’t an antique store and didn’t look like it would have what I was seeking. I kept moving through the city streets and came across another jewelry store. Browsing the items in the window I spotted it. An amethyst ring with tiny diamonds. White gold so it looks silver. I tried it on and it fit. Without even thinking about it, I bought it. The energy swirled and the universe sang with joy. The ring links me to someone from the past and also someone in the future. It feels like something I received lifetimes ago, but this version is much simpler and smaller. Perfect. When I was buying it, one of my friends messaged me asking what was happening because he too felt the happy energy.

We are all connected, if we are paying attention.

With only five days left in Europe, I had finally found the ring. Secure in the knowledge I had done almost everything I was supposed to on this trip, I made my way toward the Sint Jan Cathedral to spend some time with the spirits and light some candles.

The Cathedral was incredible. Statues of Saints lined every aisle. Beautiful art hung on the walls and were contained in the stained glass windows. There was a peace in the cathedral I had not found elsewhere. Some areas of the cathedral were very cold, as if people from beyond had congregated in those spots. This is one place I must return to on my next trip because in one visit you cannot possibly take in everything there is to see there.

The rest of my day was spent with my colleague John Boeren as we did an In-Depth Genealogist IDG Chit-Chat session with Shannon Combs-Bennett. You can watch that here. Afterward we walked to the bakery in the village for something yummy with our tea and coffee and had a long conversation about life and work. My evening was quiet and perfect. I again counted my blessings as I later drifted to sleep. Tomorrow would be the day I gave my final program in the Netherlands.

Traveling in their Footsteps – 28 October 2015

December 16, 2015 by Jennifer Holik Leave a Comment

Today was the day I was going to find the silver ring the universe kept saying I needed to find. And where was it going to be? Nijmegen!

After a leisurely morning of sleeping in to recover from the prior two days and prepare to speak again tonight, I thought I would head toward Groesbeek and stop in Nijmegen to look for this ring. So I drove along beautiful roads and got to Nijmegen and felt like that was not the place to find the ring.

Hungry and a bit frustrated about this voice in my head, I decided to ignore it and continue to Groesbeek and find lunch. It was a bit cloudy and grey but people were out and about and there was a happy atmosphere in Groesbeek. I found a little café to have lunch where I ate a delicious sandwich and relaxed over coffee afterward. Discovering there was only one jewelry store in town, and the owner was on holiday, I took a walk.

I discovered a lot of Liberation Route signs all over the town which depicted scenes from the Operation Market Garden time period of September 1944, and pointed out points near the signs so you could get a then and now perspective. Walking along I thought it would be a good idea for the next trip to actually figure out where all these signs were in each town so I could go on an adventure and find them all!

Then and Now

On my walk I did find a chapel and was able to light some candles and sit for a while and contemplate life. Then when I was finished there I did a bit of shopping and headed toward my hotel for the evening. I was staying at the Hampshire Landgoedhotel, where Rense Havinga, the curator at the National Liberation Museum where I was to speak, recommended having dinner. Apparently their restaurant is top-notch.

On the way to the hotel I stumbled upon the Groesbeek Canadian War Cemetery. Of course I had to stop even though it was a drizzly day at this point. The soldiers called out. There were moments when the sun tried to peek through the clouds and shine light down on us.

The cemetery is beautiful and peaceful and situated on a hill overlooking fields and forests. Only a couple of people were there when I arrived and one soldier was near the Cross of Sacrifice. I spent a lot of time looking at the stones and photographing them. The CWGC stones all have a quote or prayer or something on the bottom. They are unlike our ABMC stones. As I walked I even passed a bench with soldiers just hanging out and talking. They were enjoying the quiet. It was the perfect way to spend some time that afternoon.

I checked into the hotel which was situated near a forest and some fields with sheep. Even though the day was gray and misty, it was peaceful and beautiful. My room was gigantic and the back doors opened onto a small patio which was against the field. Just a short walk across the field of sheep and I could be in a forest. I spent the afternoon relaxing and writing before I had to get changed for my program and dinner beforehand.

Rense was not wrong when he said the restaurant was highly recommended. I had the most delicious, savory roast duck, vegetables, and salad for dinner. Because of timing I had to rush a little, but oh my, it was delicious.

I arrived at the museum and met two Facebook friends, Herman and Bob. These kind gentlemen carried my box of books and made sure I made it in the dark from the parking lot to the museum. We met with Rense and got me set up in their theater. Then it was off to the café for tea and meeting people before the program.

Several people I knew were at the museum that evening, including Helen, Hans and his two sons, Bob and Herman. The theater was half-filled and people were very receptive to the stories and information. When the program was over, many of us gathered in the café again for coffee and conversation.

My third program in the Netherlands had ended and the experience was great. I met many wonderful people who shared their stories with me and gave me information so I can share it with others.

Later when I returned to my hotel, the moon was rising high in the sky. I opened the back doors in my room that led to the patio and watched the moon rise as the clouds floated by. I heard noises in the forest as if the soldiers were wandering around or settling down for the night. You could feel their presence so intensely. After wishing them light and love and bidding them goodnight I closed the doors and drapes and soon headed off to dreamland. As I counted my blessings and thought briefly about the following day, I was determined to find that ring. And so the next day………

Traveling in their Footsteps – 27 October 2015

December 15, 2015 by Jennifer Holik Leave a Comment

Forgiveness and healing can arrive at the most incredible and unexpected moments.

Throughout this trip I knew I was healing and releasing things from medieval past lives. I also knew I had to work through some forgiveness for myself where my soldiers were concerned. And there needed to be the release of my soldiers to move on. We can’t stay stuck to each other forever. I’d had many conversations about this with my friend Mary, who has helped guide me on this spiritual journey. She had said once I had to let them go and forgive myself for not being able to save them all. Little did we know what form that was going to take.

On 27 October Helen Patton and I joined John Boeren for a day of Liberation Ceremonies. We again saw Matt and Gerrit and many others we had met the evening before when I spoke. John took us first to a Commonwealth War Graves Commission cemetery for a ceremony to honor the British forces that liberated Tilburg. The event was in the British forces cemetery and we could not have asked for a more perfect day. The sun was blazing high in the sky, shining down directly on the graves in gorgeous healing beams of light. People gathered and bagpipes played as those who participated in the ceremonies marched into the cemetery toward the podium.

The ceremony was in Dutch, but it didn’t matter what language it was in. The sentiment was visible to everyone. Honor those who gave us our freedom. Children helped dignitaries lay flowers at the Cross of Sacrifice and then it happened.

Release. Healing. Forgiveness.

A woman got up to sing Vera Lynn’s song, “We’ll Meet Again.” In English. At that point I felt the tears well up in my eyes and it was as if I was saying goodbye to my sweetheart during WWII and taking care of all those WWI soldiers. I could see it flash before my tear-filled eyes. I could feel this man I said goodbye to so many years and another lifetime ago, standing next to me. But he wasn’t. I knew where he was though – not far away from where I was in Europe.

The grief become uncontrollable as the tears slipped faster and faster down my cheeks. The sun was shining brighter and warmer on us as we stood near the graves and I could hear my soldiers saying to me, ‘Forgive yourself and let us go. It is time for us to let you go too.’ And as the song ended, we all said goodbye until another time and place when, We’ll Meet Again.

Release. Healing. Forgiveness.

After the ceremony, Helen and I spoke to a woman who was 12 years old during the war. She told us a few stories about her life and what it was like to be in a town occupied by the Germans. I wish we would have had all day to listen to her stories as they were sad, distressing, but also fascinating.

2nd ceremony2 — Jacoba Pulskens memorial

Thankfully we had a fantastic lunch after this ceremony and before the second one. I needed a bit of a break from all the energy. The second ceremony was for Jacoba Pulskens, a woman who hid Allied Airmen and later was sent to a concentration camp after the men were executed. The ceremony was short and a few people spoke near the memorial in Tilburg which honors her. Some members of her family attended and spoke.

When the ceremony ended, John took Helen and I to the home where Jacoba lived and then gave us a tour of Tilburg. Our final stop was a beautiful chapel where we sat for a time after lighting candles. Then Helen and I went off in search of coffee and a snack while John attended to other business.

We had a lovely dinner with John and Matt and then made our way to the final ceremony of the day, which honored the Scottish Brigade who helped liberate Tilburg. John was dressed in his St. Sebastian Guild attire because they were to lay flowers at the monument. The ceremony had melodic bagpipe music and many short speeches before children helped the dignitaries lay flowers at the Scottish Monument. It was a beautiful ceremony, again in Dutch, with some wonderful bagpipes to accompany it.

3rd Ceremony Scottish (22) editedJ, J, H — Jennifer, John, and Helen after the final ceremony.

After ceremonies such as these, the Dutch gather together for coffee and cake. We participated after the first and last ceremonies of the day. It gives people a chance to talk and enjoy each other’s company over food and drink, before they return home. It is a nice thing they do and I was able to meet many other people.

Before 9:00 p.m. I was heading back to Ammerzoden and to bed. The next day I would drive to Groesbeek for the day, lecture at night and drive back on Thursday. The past two days had been quite an experience and I was grateful for the healing that I was able to help with and receive. Who knows what the rest of the trip would bring and the question remained, where was this silver ring the universe kept saying I had to find?

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