healing

Jennifer’s European Adventures 22-24 May 2017

May 31, 2017 by Jennifer Holik 1 Comment

The weekend is over and jet lag has subsided. Hooray! Now what is possible for this new week?

One benefit of being in business for yourself is the flexibility to work anywhere. Have Wifi and computer? Check. Check. I can work. I spent Monday working on client projects and my new books while in Utrecht. After work, Johan and I headed to Naarden for a quiet evening.

Naarden is a favorite place for us to visit and near to another favorite location, the castle Muiderslot. Naarden is fortified village (Google it to see photos from above.) You can walk through the entire village in less than an hour. You can also go up on top of the fortifications and walk then also walk the perimeter.

The village is old and beautiful. You can park on old cobbled streets or outside the bridges into the village. The views from the top of the fortifications are breathtaking. We took a long walk around and then had drinks and snacks (bitterballen!) in an outdoor cafe. What a perfect way to end the day.

Tuesday I worked at home and worked on my books a little. Later in the day Johan and I opened up a box of decadent chocolates our friends brought us Saturday.

Wednesday was a really fun day because I got to go to ‘s-Hertogenbosch (Den Bosch) to spend time with my sister in-law. Den Bosch is my favorite city in the Netherlands. It has Sint-Jan Cathedral, which I visit every time I am in the city. There is such peace there. I love the stained glass, smell of incense, lighting a candle for Mother Mary in the back of the church and, when it is open, walking through the back of the cathedral to see the niches for different saints. I was lucky that this time the back of the church was open. I was in Den Bosch four other times and only one of those visits was the back open.

There was a market in the square and my sister in-law and I had a lovely lunch outside. Lunch is so much better outdoors don’t you think?

Before we left the city and I went home, we stopped at Jan de Groot to pick up Appelflappen and Bosche Bollen. Appelflapp is a flaky pastry, usually triangle shaped with apples and cinnamon inside and covered in heavy sugar. YUM! Bosche Bol is something everyone should have if they love chocolate and cream. These are about the size of your fist or slightly larger, are like what we know as cream puffs, covered in a dark chocolate and filled with whipped cream. Jan de Groot makes the best. I’ll have another one before I fly back to Chicago when a woman comes over from the U.S. to meet with her Dutch ‘family’ and we get to spend some time together.

My journey has only just begun but more adventures await. Soon it will be time to head to Belgium and then stay in Margraten for Memorial Day weekend. I wonder what and who will show up……..

Jennifer’s European Adventures 19 – 21 May 2017

May 30, 2017 by Jennifer Holik Leave a Comment

It’s so great to be back in Europe for the second time this year. Johan and I are going back and forth regularly now and having all kinds of adventures.

I flew to Amsterdam and arrived Friday 19 May. Spent a very quiet day at home while Johan went to the office. I did what everyone says not to do…..sleep! Life in Chicago has been so busy with work, my boys, sports, school, you name it, that I have been a bit run down. After I had lunch after my arrival, my body said SLEEP! I had the most fabulous nap with our furry cat Memphis for almost three hours. After that I felt human and the jet lag was much less than it would have been. Listening to your body is so important regardless of what anyone else says.

Saturday was a quiet day and I did a bit of shopping and had lunch in an outdoor café. I love the cafés here because so many have outdoor seating, often with a great view. In most, you can sit for hours, which we often do. Saturday evening we had dinner with a couple of friends, one of whom is the historian for the 94th Infantry Division Historical Society. We shared a lot of soldier stories over the course of the evening. It was fantastic.

Sunday we went to Amsterdam for a bit of shopping, lunch, and wandering. I wanted to stop in the P.W. Akkerman Fountain Pen shop in Amsterdam since we were unable to go to the P.W. Akkerman we prefer in The Hague. Our routine is to go to The Hague the day after I fly in and I always buy a new fountain pen and inks. Patricia is one woman who works at the store in The Hague and knows our love story. She is always so happy, friendly, and helpful in picking out pens, helping fix older pens, choosing inks, and catching up on life. We really enjoy visiting the store (which is old and has a fantastic atmosphere,) and speaking with her. Sadly, our experience at the Amsterdam store was nothing like The Hague. The staff seemed uninterested in helping us, was unfriendly, and rude. I will not return to the Amsterdam store and instead, wait until I can visit Patricia in The Hague store.

We did have a lovely walk around some of the centre and had a nice lunch in a shop across from a church that is now part of the University of Amsterdam. From our table we watched a group of people dance, chant, bow, and sing, in a circle outside the church. They were doing a peace ceremony with flags from countries around the world. It was cool to watch.

Before we drove home we stopped at the Begijnhof to take a short walk. It was very crowded and noisy there as lots of tour groups had come out since it was a beautiful day. Johan took me there last year over the winter when it was very quiet. Usually it is a place of peace and quiet and you don’t hear the city noise once you are in the courtyard.

To leave the noise, we entered the chapel, which I had not yet been in. I love churches and cathedrals in Europe and visit as many as possible. I prefer Catholic Churches because they are often more lavish, contain more stained glass windows which play with the light that shines through, Mother Mary is there and I always light and candle and have a talk with her. They are also places to just stop, BE, release things that don’t serve me, and receive healing and awareness.

After our visit to the chapel we headed home. It was a great start to my time in Europe. I wonder what else will show up that I am not expecting!

The Path and Impact of your Research

May 22, 2017 by Jennifer Holik 1 Comment

Exploring our lives and those of our family members is an activity many people engage in today, often as genealogical or military research. Some explore their lives through various energetic and healing modalities. Most people tend to stay on one path – that of collecting facts (names, dates, and places.) These are entered in a family tree or notes for a project or book. Usually only information which is easy to obtain, or on the surface, is explored. Changing paths or going deeper into our life and those of our family members is often avoided. The path is often seen as a dangerous, dark, painful detour in life, that many choose to avoid.

Why is it most people do not go deeper in their research? Are they unaware of the infinite possibilities of understanding and healing available? Are they afraid to walk the other path, which will lead to greater understanding of themselves and their family members? Are they afraid to walk into the possibility of darkness emerging even when healing can occur?

Have you ever considered the true impact of researching the lives of your family members? Did you ever notice you may begin with one individual and move through the process or down the rabbit hole and end up in a place you never expected to be?

My family and military research has always started with the idea of researching one individual. It usually turns out that others will show up to guide the research and take me down the other path which contains the real story of what happened to them and the family. It is on that path the darkness often reveals itself and if I move through it, light and peace emerge at the end of the road. As I move through that darkness, the darkness long hidden in me often emerges and demands resolution. This has not been an easy process the last several years. I’ve gone through a lot of pain, tears, darkness, and loss of people in my life. I continue to come out of each dark period stronger, more confident, more understanding of the people in my life and myself. Healing takes place in ways it couldn’t otherwise.

I have had many clients who start a project focusing on one person – a father, brother, mother – who either died in World War II or returned home. They begin asking for the general service history of the individual. Maybe they have worked on their family history or they reached a point in their lives they want to know what really happened.

Through the course of research, I discuss findings with the client and ask questions. Often, the questions are more personal to help the client open up to a level of understanding of the individual in question, himself, the research, and how it affected the family, that otherwise may not occur. Through this process, he walks down a path of discovery and healing he never expected.

What happens when we follow the other path and the energy of a project? Who else shows up on our journey? Often it is someone we never expected and long deceased. Sometimes pain emerges from issues long put to rest, or so we think. Time has a way of healing, and also releasing the pain, exactly when we are ready to heal it.

Are you ready to walk the other path? Ask the more difficult questions? Move into the darkness so you can emerge again in the light? This fall I will be releasing new books and programs to help you do this. You may also experience the process by working with me on a client project. Contact me to find out what’s possible.

Journaling to Heal the Past

May 3, 2017 by Jennifer Holik Leave a Comment

Journaling has been something I have been doing since I was a little girl. Not consistently though until the last few years. My early journals were typical of a girl moving into puberty, Jr. High and High School, with talk of which boy was the cutest, drama with friends and siblings, and my dreams for the future. In High School they became much more. An outlet to describe frustrations in my family life (typical teenager complaints), a safe place to explore the larger world and my gigantic dreams which were too large and out there for most people in my life. I’m sure most people who knew me then, thought I was crazy for having such big dreams and growing up in such a small town.

After I became an adult, the journals changed again as an even more safe place to talk about my fears, sadness, guilt, shame, mistakes, anger, and dreams. When I had my first child, miscarriages, and later twins, the journals became a place to express all I had before, adding marriage troubles, and my hopes and dreams for my children.

When I moved out in June 2012 to get divorced and start a new life, I had a relatively new and thriving business. The journals became a place to work through all the changes in my life, express my fears in being a single mother and business owner, channeling my relatives and guides as I transitioned into a more authentic version of who I was. They also became a place to create many things for my business, which shifted from genealogy to WWI and WWII research, speaking, and writing.

My journaling has been so intense the last several years, so vulnerable and open, that I have personally changed a great deal, as have those around me. As we heal ourselves, others heal too, even if we are unaware it is happening. I channel the soldiers when they show up asking for help. The research and writing, and even the programs I teach, heal the living and the dead.

The journals that have shown up and gifted to me since December are also full of magic. I ask them before I write in them, what do you want from me? The last journal I filled told me I had to be more open, honest, and vulnerable about everything and share the journal with my fiancé! That was a scary concept because I don’t share my journals. Yet I knew if I could be vulnerable and authentic, and share my writing with him, I would be able to share more of myself with the world when the time was right.

Do you know what happened when he read the journal? We both healed. I didn’t die of fright or shame or guilt over anything I wrote. He didn’t head for the hills and never speak to me again. The entire process allowed me to move into a place I had never been. A very good place.

We are all works in progress. As I shift more each day into a more authentic, aware version of myself, a healer, mother, soon to be wife, daughter, friend, business owner, the people entering my reality is shifting and changing. Clients are showing up asking for military research but also so much more. I’m hearing words and phrases:

I’m looking for answers, closure, peace, healing.

Words they put into their stories when we talk include: answers, closure, peace, healing, shame, guilt, fear, anger, love, trauma, PTSD, inherited trauma, resolution, secrets, pain, and many more.

I’m trying to understand WHO my father really was. Why our relationship was as it was. WHO I am after learning all this.

These secrets were kept for so long. What do I do with them? How do I resolve the past and understand?

Would you please write a summary of my dad’s service to be read at his military funeral?

At least a few of my new clients are journaling about their lives, families, trauma (both their own and inherited), and research on their family members. Some of them use journaling to understand the past to heal it and themselves. Others use it to also record their journey through the research, the questions and answers, and healing, in preparation to write a book or walk in Europe where their soldier walked (and often died.)

When we think of genealogical or military research, we often focus only on the research and adding information to our family tree. Too often we choose not to write anything. It becomes a single short fact in a tree or database.

What would happen if we had a journal dedicated to our research? A safe place to document our progress, questions, answers, hidden family secrets, and all the shame, guilt, anger, hate, and even LOVE that arises throughout the process?

Are you using journaling for your research? How has it helped you? What tips do you have for others who are ready to start this process of research and healing?

European WWII Travel – Let’s Go!

January 21, 2017 by Jennifer Holik Leave a Comment

2017 is well underway now and so much is happening at the World War II Research and Writing Center. Shifting things around to add some amazing new services later this year to make your experience of researching, writing, traveling, and preserving the stories of our WWII soldiers, sailors, and Marines, more incredible and healing. The majority of my education articles are only going out through my newsletter. One was sent this month. Have you signed up so you receive this valuable information?

As things shift here the last few weeks, I’ve felt a bit uninspired to write for the website. I realized last night, it is in part because of an influx of new WWII clients with which I have been busy. We have also reached the part of Chicago wintertime where we hardly see the sun. That is a bit depressing. Last night I pulled out my Germany travel book to see where I’d like to visit when I’m in Europe this year. If I could instantly zap myself somewhere, I’d transport myself either to a tropical beach where there is sun, or Europe to journey through battlefields, castles, cemeteries, churches, fortified villages, museums, and find more stories to tell along the way. Europe feels more fun than sitting in cold, dark, Chicago.

I love exploring new places in Europe, whether they are related to World War I or II, or not. It is good to have a balance of both war and peace. I enjoy climbing endless stairs to reach the top of a church steeple or tower to admire the view. I like exploring stairways between buildings or within castles, to see what is around the next bend. The architecture everywhere you look is incredible, whether old or more modern. Everywhere you go, you touch the past and the present, all full of history. Some places I feel a strong past life connection to, while other places just exist. No matter where I travel, there are traces of war going back centuries.

I love staying in historical places, old chateaus with the feeling of ghosts wandering the halls and stairways, places that have tiny nooks where you can sit and think or write, hotels that were once Headquarters for our US troops during the war, farmhouse B&B’s, and even more contemporary lodgings. Each has their own story and when you take the time to connect with the owner and hear those stories, they can change your perspective on your travels and your life.

My favorite times on each trip, are those when I feel fully connected to wherever I am and have time to sit and absorb it all. Time to write in my travel journal so I capture the memories, essence of a place, realize new things about myself, and dream new dreams. Time to take as many photos as I want, from as many different angles, to capture what is beautiful and feels good for me. For many reasons, there were not enough of those moments on my trips the last two years. This year I promise myself to have more moments like that.

Contemplating potential travel this year, I wonder where I should go and what I should see. So many possibilities!!!! Having visited parts of France, Belgium, The Netherlands, Luxembourg, Germany, and Austria, I plan to add England (London and Oxford) to my list this year. That much is certain.

I wonder in what places my soul will feel at home. What churches will bring peace. Who I will meet along my journey. What new things I will learn to share with others.

Thankfully the internet is full of websites for tourist destinations and the bookstore has a lot of travel books and magazines to browse. The travel books I already own are tabbed with bright colors indicating things on my wish list to see. Through all my personal and client research, there are many battlefields I wish to visit. Walk where the soldiers walked.

As winter moves on, are you also planning European travel to see and experience new things? Are you planning to walk where your soldier walked during the war? What places have you visited that touched your heart? Where does your heart and soul yearn to go next? What places do you wish you could visit again? What experiences do you wish to have again? Are there places you suggest I visit (if I haven’t already?) I’d love to hear about your trips. Please share with our readers in the comments.

I Hope You Write

December 9, 2016 by Jennifer Holik Leave a Comment

I am a writer.

I am a historian.

I am a healer.

I am many other things, which I captured in my numerous journals, pieces of blank paper, the back of military records, post it notes, and documents on my computer, especially over the last four years.

Some of us write because we are in transition in our lives and need help sorting our thoughts and feelings. We write for a place to dump problems. We write to keep track of all we are grateful for. We write ideas for future books. We write when our souls scream out, ‘it is time to heal all this negative stuff so you can be lighter and stand in your true power.’ We write in times of grief. Whatever the reason, many of us write and whether or not we ever show this side of ourselves to anyone else is up to us.

My life made a major transition in June 2012. Not only did I move out with my boys to get a divorce, but I was also on a new, uncharted path with my work. No longer was I only doing genealogy work for clients or teaching how to research. I was writing the stories of war and learning how to do that type of research, sometimes tripping down a path I could only see a few steps in front of me, trusting the universe would take care of me.

The universe DID take care of me. I followed the energy of my business and went where it said to go. I set yearly goals, thinking I wanted to accomplish x, y, and z, only to get to the end of the year to find I reached a handful of goals. Not only did I accomplish those seemingly few things, but I wrote out at least a page or two of things I never expected to learn, do, or create. By 2015 I made shorter goal lists and trusted I’d be where I needed to be with work and let the universe help carve the path I was walking.

My journals are stacked high now and contain happy and sad things, a lot of channeled writing, and many pages of discovery about who I really am, what I want, and where I’m going. My soul kept asking the question this year, when are you going to write YOUR story to share? My response was, ‘what do I really have to say about all that?’ My friend Ginny, who I wrote about in my book The Tiger’s Widow, has said numerous times the last few years, ‘I’m watching you grow, transform, and write your story which needs to be told, but I don’t know the end.’ Ginny and I spent time together for the first time, before my major transition in 2012. She has been a guiding light and inspiration.

Do you know the love story of Ginny and Robert Brouk, my Flying Tiger? Robert Brouk was fighting the Japanese prior to Pearl Harbor, with the American Volunteer Group, the Flying Tigers, in China during 1941-1942. Robert returned to Chicago in July 1942 and met Ginny a month later. Late November they married and went to Orlando, FL, where Robert was stationed and training pilots. On December 19, 1942, Ginny watched Robert die in a plane crash when the squadron was returning from Kissimmee to Orlando. She was a widow at 20 after three weeks of marriage. That was just the beginning of their story. You can read Robert’s story in Stories of the Lost and Ginny’s in The Tiger’s Widow.

Robert and Ginny’s story provided light in the darkness and hope when I thought no good future was in store. Tragedy and loss come to us to help us grow stronger and though it may take decades to understand why something happened, sometimes we get answers. With those answers come great healing for all involved. That was what happened for Ginny and I in 2012 and continues today. After Ginny lost her second husband just before we connected in 2005, she began hand writing her life’s story. She did this to heal and not fall into a depression from which she would never recover. We have that in common. We write to save ourselves and heal. She probably didn’t realize when she started writing that some of those pages would help a woman struggling through a major transition, or bring love and hope to the world.

Last night the words demanded I start writing to share my story. Will this story ever see the light of day? Will anyone beside me ever read it? Maybe not. Sometimes no one else needs to read it. The process of writing our story is often more important. It brings insight, growth, healing, and love. I have a feeling that whatever all this soul writing turns out to be, will somehow contribute to the world. I feel there are pieces that will see the light of day and be used in new projects. My pain, joy, struggle, healing, and love will somehow help someone else. We are all connected you know. We may endure our own darkness, struggles, and pain, but none of us is ever really alone.

There is a song called, I Hope You Dance, about a wish that we all dance and enjoy our life. My wish to you is I Hope You Write. Tell your stories even if you are the only one to read them in this life. When you do, your world will shift in amazing ways.

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