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Book Review: Emotional Inheritance

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The last few years I have read so many books and studied with many teachers in the areas of inherited trauma, collective trauma, ancestral healing and it never ceases to amaze me how deep we can go with these topics.

I read a book Emotional Inheritance. It’s a short book, larger print, quick read, but extremely powerful, especially if you are doing your personal and ancestral healing work. Healing is like peeling an onion, layer by layer. Each layer we move through sends us deeper into ourselves, our lineage, our traumas both personal and inherited. This book, like many others I have read, can be consumed more than once and you will always learn or see something new. You will always heal a new layer of yourself.

Galit was born in Israel, grew up there, then later immigrated to the U.S. and she lives and works in New York City. Of course she, like every inherited trauma author, talks about epigenetic studies and the Holocaust. She also provides case studies of clients with other presenting issues that link back to family secrets, family patterns, dead siblings, or choices that were made and covered up. She even hits upon what I discovered in 2019, that we can be living and recreating parts of our ancestors traumas, wishes, unfulfilled hopes & dreams, and pain in our own lives and relationships. I certainly did this with the Dutch husband. I was repeating patterns and trying to fulfill dreams for my WWII grandparents. However, when I understood what I was living out and that it was not mine, but connected, that I chose to take it on to heal, I started diving in and doing deeper healing work to unplug and release myself from it all. To heal the bloodline.

Galit also covers topics of immigration and what was expected in a new country, often the removal and hiding of who someone was and where they came from. She highlights Israel and the Jewish identity that was created after the Six-Day War, which then required anyone immigrating, to give up their old identity, language, customs, and become something new, whether they wanted to or not. Galit had a lot to say and explain about Israel and the Jews post-WWII that I think everyone should learn about and sit with. Remember, if you look at immigrants to America – we more or less forced them to integrate, hide their former selves, give up their languages so they would fit in. We see this pattern in most countries as a rule for becoming a resident or naturalized citizen – give up your identity and forget everything about the past.

Is that really necessary? What we ignore, hold secret, shove down deep, still shows up and will repeat until healed. Why is it so bad that each individual on this planet is just that – an individual? Why do we have to give up who we are to fit a mold for a country we choose to live in? Deep questions to consider.

I have a few other thoughts on this book in the video below. I’d love to know if you read this book and what your thoughts are. Please share in the comments.

Be sure to watch the video of some thoughts after you read this article.

Are You Ready to Start Writing and Researching?

I would love to help you research and write the stories of your family members from World War I – Vietnam. If you are ready to start a research or writing project, email me at info@wwiirwc.com and let’s set up a free phone consultation. I’m excited to help you bring your family’s military history to life and preserve it for generations.

© 2022 WWII Research & Writing Center

Book Review: Ajax, The Dutch, The War

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A little background on me before I dive into the book review.

By 2015 my healing journey & military work allowed me to travel in Europe & create a life both there & in Chicago. I became embedded in Dutch society, life, relationships, healthcare, politics, culture, got a deep dive into grief when I became a caregiver to someone I was married to in the Netherlands.  All of that gave me a unique perspective on our world & the layers of trauma we each carry, no matter where we live.

I visited battlefields & burial sites, religious & cultural sites, heard family & war stories, some of which brought me to my knees in grief as I channeled the people telling the stories. I understand context that many people do not. This makes me unique in the way I can help clients heal on both sides of the ocean to explore their personal & ancestral family patterns & war trauma. I have studied & understand genealogy & military records, & what information, secrets, patterns, inherited trauma, feelings, & emotions they may share.

I’m both an outsider and yet, not quite an outsider. I question everything.

Book Review

Please note the author makes it clear the original Dutch version is not as expanded as the later written English version. He conducted more interviews and did more research for the English version. If you want to entire story, read the English version.

I’m not a huge fan of sports to be honest. I did attend several Sparta Rotterdam games and watched a lot of Chelsea (UK) football when I was married and living in the Netherlands. Before that I mostly watched sports with my boys on occasion. However, I really enjoyed this book, Ajax, The Dutch. The War. It really gave me a different look at Dutch culture, the war, how and why some commemorate everything about the war (that comes from guilt and shame primarily from what I gleamed in this book), and put many puzzle pieces together of things I intuitively sensed, but the people I surrounded myself with either denied or ignored. There is a cultural narrative to uphold that a good Dutch citizen can’t deviate from. I have seen this cultural narrative in every country, including the U.S. Isn’t it time we stop following the narrative and be honest and heal?

Traveling in Europe, living in the Netherlands, exploring different cultures, being embedded in society, having attended numerous WWII commemorations and memorial services, and having a military research background, I got a different experience of the Dutch than I had after six years back and forth overseas. 

This book talks about Ajax, the Amsterdam football club and their ties to the local Jewish Community (pre-WWII annihilation.) The author shares stories about the Jewish players, what happened to them, how the club treated them, and what took place after the war. The author also tells stories of other country players from Germany, the UK, Italy. We learn how in many countries, especially the Netherlands, football was continued to be played because the country was occupied and not really at war, as compared to other countries, until the Allies arrived late 1944.

The author is not a born in the Netherlands Dutch man, although he did grow up in Leiden. He has an outsiders perspective of the “good” Dutch during the and the “bad” Dutch during the war based on the interviews he conducted and the research he did. How interesting it was to learn that the Dutch Institute for War Documentation in Amsterdam carries a lot of materials on the Resistance and very little on the Collaborators. I’ve often heard from Dutch friends how stupid and backwards Americans are because we rewrite our history, but they do the same thing. Every country does this. Hide the history you don’t want people to see because it might change how outsiders view you.

The author explained the pillars of Dutch society from centuries ago and how they were always taught to OBEY. CONFORM. Be LAW ABIDING. DO NOT SHINE TOO BRIGHT. NEVER ASK QUESTIONS. This type of cultural programming was reinforced during the war and the Dutch citizens ended up being taken over by the Germans and helped them round up the Jews. Yes, there was resistance but the way the author explains it, many citizens barely knew there was a war on because they continued with life as normal, outside of Rotterdam which had been bombed, and until late 1944 when the Allies arrived to shake up the country, and then the Hunger Winter took place before the north was liberated. The Dutch really didn’t suffer as they say they did until the Allies arrived. The way I have always heard it, the Dutch suffered the entire war, but if you honestly look at the timeline……I question that. Was there fear there? Yes. Was there constant daily destruction the entire time they were occupied? No. The author gives some compelling evidence of all of this.

The author shares so many stories and so much research, it really made me question everything I knew about the war in the Netherlands, or any country really. Since I read this book, several other books and resources have shown up to give me a different perspective of the war, especially in Germany. I invite you to question everything you were taught and consider changing your mind and possibly healing the past.

It was interesting to read about the football clubs ongoing games in the country, throughout Europe and the UK as the war was raging. Football it seems never really ended. The author shares where in the Netherlands and at which football stadiums you find war memorials. And which you do not because the club wants to hide their past.

I would say the overall theme of the book is how did the Dutch really function during the war? The author argues: “Intellectually most Dutch people who think about the war know the Netherlands was cowardly and grey. Yet, as Orwell said, it is possible to know and not know at the same time. Alongside this knowledge there survives a hardy popular fantasy of a heroic little land where everyone was in the Resistance, Asterix’s village writ large. This is the story the Dutch prefer to tell foreigners.”

That is the story I have always been told, yet this book made me question all of it.

Have you read this book? There is so much I could say about it but that would skew your opinion if you read it. If you looked at my copy, it is tabbed up with colorful tabs – probably about 50 and the pages are written on and passages underlined. I had a lot of strong emotions move through me as I read this book. Not only because I lived in the Netherlands and listened to the stories, attended the events and bought into their version of the narrative, but also because it opened up space for me to question and change my perspective on the entire war and all the people involved. It opened space for healing to come through for me, for them, the past, and the trauma that still resides there.

Honestly if you read this book, it is one you could go back to again and see the deeper layers of history – especially as it has repeated today. As I have watched the Dutch news since March 2020, I see so many similarities between WWII and this global war today. I understand how their culture and personal/cultural/collective trauma forms the individuals as it does. No judgment, just witnessing the past and present. Wondering how their society will change in the future. No matter which country you live in, you will learn something from this book.

Since reading this book and having gone through everything I did in Europe, more of my experience and journey makes sense. All those intuitive hits I got that I couldn’t figure out or they wouldn’t fit into the giant puzzle that is my life – now they do.

If you enjoy learning the non-politically correct narrative of a subject, exploring different perspectives, have an open mind which invites change, I highly recommend this book. 

If you would like to explore more of your stories and how your ancestors and culture affects you, sign up for my course, Exploring Family Patterns and Stories. It might just change how you look at yourself and your family.

© 2021 WWII Research & Writing Center

Book Review: The Survivors

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There is an incredible book The Survivors. A Story of War, Inheritance, and Healing by Adam P. Frankel. I picked this book up to attempt to find another book I could use in my master class on war, inherited trauma, and healing. This book gave me a completely different view of healing than others I’ve read.

Whether you are from a family of Holocaust Survivors or not, the themes in this book speak to many of us. As Frankel tells his story we learn about identity, family secrets, family patterns, loyalty, grief & loss, survival, sexual secrets, mental illness, PTSD, shame, anger, familial behavior, and so many other themes associated with war, survival, the physical manifestations of keeping secrets, inherited trauma, and how we each have to choose our own path regardless of our family’s choices. We also learn how his Jewish family, who survived the Holocaust, felt about loyalty and looking the other way on family secrets.

If you were to look at my copy of this book, you would see underlining on many pages. Notes written in the margins, and a lot of questions or correlations I make to my own family. I think any good book makes us think and helps us to see where we are not alone in whatever we are going through and if we are lucky – just how much we have changed and healed ourselves.

By the end of the this book I could see some of myself in Frankel – his experience, how he dealt (and didn’t) with the family secret he learned about himself, and in the end how he began healing. Honestly, I was in tears.

I will spend some time journaling on what I read and going back through the book to see all the passages I marked as important.

Have you read this book? What was your reaction? Do you have another similar book you can recommend I read?

Disclosure – the book link is an affiliate link. It does not affect the price you pay for the book.

© 2020 World War II Research and Writing Center

Holocaust History – Kazerne Dossin Museum

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On 6 October 2018, Johan and I visited the Kazerne Dossin Museum in Mechelen, Belgium. Originally, when I looked at the museum information, I thought it contained history of the Holocaust, but did not read closely enough to see that the entire museum was not a “war museum” for WWII but specifically a Holocaust Museum.

We went early enough, not long after the museum opened, hoping to visit while it was quiet. Having visited other Holocaust sites, camps, and WWII museums, I know I do better going when it is less busy and crowded. I do a lot of healing in these places, a lot of writing, contemplation, and too many people or too much noise make it hard for me to function. I thought the one place people would be respectful was a Holocaust Museum but that wasn’t the case. There were many French-speaking groups in the museum after we arrived, all speaking loudly, some laughing. Being a medium who hears what the dead say – I can’t repeat what I heard because I’m sure it will offend someone, but know the dead were NOT happy.

When you walk into the museum, one of the first things you see is a wall with thousands of faces. There is a wall like this on every floor.

There are several floors that walk you through the history of the Holocaust. It is in many ways, very similar to what you see at every other Holocaust museum or camp. Then there were history panels and stories which were specific to this place. You really should read the INTRODUCTION on their website for the specific history. Their introduction begins,

“Between 1942 and 1944, 25,484 Jews and 352 Roma and Sinti were deported from the 18th century Dossin barracks. Just over 5% returned from Auschwitz-Birkenau. Kazerne Dossin is an intense and unique place of commemoration. The museum deals with the persecution of Jews and gypsies in Belgium. Until mid-1942, the occupier was able to count everywhere on the often supportive cooperation of the authorities. How was that possible? Why this persecution? What did it mean for the victims and how did they react? Was there no resistance? These are core questions in the museum.”

So many questions.

So many faces.

So many stories.

These are questions we still ask today about the Holocaust and every other event that has or is happening where mass violence is occurring in our world. What would it take to make it stop?

The museum is laid out nicely and you walk each floor through paneled walkways filled with stories, artifacts, photos, and questions. One of the most impressive or soul numbing walks I took in the middle of one floor was starting on one end with all the photos and as I walked down the aisle I was walking into Auschwitz.

Once I reached the top two floors of the museum, most of the noise of visitors was gone as there were only a few people up there. This is where the primary history was being told about Belgium, this location, and those who left. On the top floor there is a panoramic view of the city of Mechelen and a large open space with seating for you to sit and contemplate what you’ve just seen. By the time I reached the top floor I’d had enough of rude people and walked back down to the special exhibit on the Holocaust in Strips (Comic Strips). I took a quick look at that and then we left.

Across the street from the museum is the Memorial where the Jews and Gypsies departed this area from. In the building there are many artifacts on the main floor, which I did not stop to look at. I went downstairs to the cellar where there is a room with 28 monitors, one for each transport, that rotate through each person on each transport. In a separate room there are seats on which you sit, one for each transport and above you, you hear the names of those on that specific transport. You can listen to this short video to get the feeling of this space. Note – this video is short and there is a high pitch noise I did not hear in the room when I recorded it. In fact, while the names were spoken clearly, what was recorded was not completely clear. Listening to it now I hear other things too – the energy of the room is speaking.

I did not remain there long because unfortunately several people came in speaking very loudly.

Overall, the museum is very well done and if you can visit when there are not groups speaking loudly and behaving rudely, I recommend you visit. If nothing else, please visit their website and read about the museum and memorial. Stop to consider the questions they ask and then ask yourself – what can I do to help heal the past?

© 2018 World War II Research & Writing Center

Holocaust History – Fort Breendonk, Belgium

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Healing the past.

Johan and I visited Belgium recently and spent part of a day at Fort Breendonk. The fort was in use during World War I, but our primary interest, and what was contained in most of the fort, was the history of what took place there in World War II. During WWII it was used as a concentration transit camp.

I was aware it would be a day of healing for the past, present, and future. I was aware the day would impact me in ways I could not have imagined prior to visiting. I almost expected to be bombarded with voices and energy, yet that is not what happened. For the most part, it was serene, which did not fit with the amount of torture, abuse, and deprivation that took place there.

Walking into the front of the fort, it doesn’t look that big. However, when you walk across the bridge into the tunnel that leads into the heart of the fort, you quickly realize this is not a warm, friendly place. There are many rooms with photos that describe what the rooms were used for and provide stories of the men, women, and children who passed through the doors.

In one room there are twelve large photos of men who were executed at the fort for their Resistance activities. Across the hall from this room, there are walls filled with names of those who passed through this camp and those who died here. There are urn-like cylinders in the middle of the room with the names of the major concentration camps. There are flowers in the niches on one wall to honor those who are no longer with us. We must never forget.

Moving deeper into the fort we found barracks rooms with huge iron door bars which were placed across the door so no one could escape. Within each of the barracks rooms, we heard stories of those lived there, saw artifacts that were in the rooms, and felt the chill of death. Some rooms felt colder than others. Across from each barracks room were long sinks. I listened to one story that described what a prisoner had to do upon being woken each morning which included making their bed, washing up, getting dressed, and other things, all within 3-4 minutes. If they were even 1 second past the time limit allowed, they were denied food, coffee, water, and often subjected to hard labor for a day.

Not only were there barracks rooms but rooms with tiny cells for prisoners. In most of the cells we saw, no light would enter once the prisoner’s door was closed. I cannot imagine being locked in one of these rooms for even five minutes. The energy in those rooms did not feel good.

In the center of the fort, outside, we went into a small red building that had large photos of several SS men and women who worked at the camp. I could not sit and listen to every story because the ones I heard were terrible and my mind, heart, and soul were churning with questions. One man, Fernand Wyss, was one who loved torture. He was active in the torture chamber and often gave the final shot in executions. He was quoted as saying,

“I carried out so many assaults in Breendonk I can no longer tell one from the other. I was motivated by love of violence. This is hell and I am the devil (was his motto.)”

Fernand was 21 years old and was responsible for beating and killing at least 16 people and beating or abusing at least 167 people.

Hearing about him made me a bit sick. It didn’t help he looks just like someone I know in Europe either. I often wonder when we leave one life, do we show up in another looking almost the same and playing out some of those roles?

Many of the SS individuals featured in this building and through stories were tried by Belgian or German courts after the war and executed. A few were never found.

After you walk through 3/4 of the fort, you end up outside to walk around the back side where you find a work field and execution area. The outside today, is beautiful. Peaceful. Surrounded by a moat where you see birds, ducks, geese, and other animals. With a blue sky and sun shining brightly, for a moment you almost forget where you are. I wonder how many prisoners felt that way. Did any of them take comfort in the beauty that existed outside the dark, cold barracks and fort? Did it give any of them hope?

At the execution area, I walked in to read the plaques there, one of which contained the names of those who were executed. Trying to move farther into the area and look at the places where guns would have come out of the concrete fort structure, I felt an overwhelming sense of negative energy. It was too much and I had to walk away from that area. I cleared some energy and waited for Johan to finish reading the plaques. Then we moved back inside the fort to see the last few rooms, which contained a lot of Holocaust history and photos.

Leaving the fort, we walked across a bridge that felt and sounded like it had seen better days. From the bridge you could see one of the observation towers. I took some beautiful photos of the bridge and area and again had trouble reconciling what I was seeing on this beautiful day with the history of the place.

By this time we had been at the fort about three hours. The ticket lady told us to expect two to three hours for our visit. Looking at the fort, as I mentioned above, I didn’t think we’d be there that long. There really is a lot to see and hear there.

The fort had a small entrance fee and we were given audio tour radios to listen to the many stories throughout the space. The ticket area which contained a small gift shop also had the audio guide for the tour available for sale. I did not purchase that as I felt I was on overload and didn’t want any more of the energy with me after I left.

For those doing genealogical research, the fort has a lot of history, stories, and photos. It is a treasure trove for families who had someone imprisoned here or who worked here.

There is a nice restaurant just outside the fort entrance if you are hungry. We had a late lunch and sat in the sun trying to process what we had just experienced.

There are really no words for what took place here. A few days later I am still processing what I saw and heard. Johan and I sat outside behind the fort for a while discussing the stories. Wondering how people could be so horrific and enjoy abusing, torturing, and making life hell for others. What drives a person to become that? What has to happen in their lives (or past lives) that creates this?

The bigger question – what can we do or be to change this? To release the hate and heal? What else is possible?

© 2018 World War II Research & Writing Center

Book Review – Architects of Death

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I was sent an Advanced Reader Copy of the book, Architects of Death. The Family Who Engineered the Death Camps, by Karen Bartlett. The book is due to be released in August 2018.

Overall the book was very interesting. Being an empath and medium, I did set a barrier around my house and myself before I began reading it and honestly, read most of it outside where the energy could ground into the earth. This is not an easy book to read, although it does NOT get graphic in the description of what happened to the victims of the death camps/concentration camps, except in a couple instances. For that I was grateful. I just finished reading a book about Japanese POWs and their treatment so a reprieve from such graphic descriptions was good.

For families homeschooling their children, this book would be appropriate for junior or senior level students and give you a lot to discuss.

The book focused more on the history of the Topf family, their often unstable personalities, their business, and what led them to work with the SS to create the ovens and other “necessary” items for the cremation and gassing systems of many camps. Throughout the book the Topf family and others high up in the company who were responsible for these items wrote their documents in such a way, even during interrogations later, about their innocence in it all and how it was just standard operating procedure to supply the necessary items to dispose of so many remains which died of disease. All the while knowing what they were doing and why. The author did give enough background to each of the main characters for readers to understand what might have led them to the choices they made. This included the description of many who served in World War I and after that saw no value in human life. Their struggle to survive in whatever fashion that meant and reach their goals was all that was important.

By 3/4 of the way through the book I was a bit tired of it. The author presented a lot of snippets of documents and statistics throughout the whole book, which at first were fine, but by later in the book I started skimming so I could get to the end where the descendant explained his interest in the Topf family business and the Memorial they created to acknowledge the role the family played and the impact it had. The descendant made it clear that he still struggles with the sins of the fathers and how he views his father and other family members.

The author did end the book prior to her Conclusion chapter, with a question. How would we act today?

Did you notice that didn’t say, What would I have done? Which is usually the question people ask and then we go into judgment of everything and everyone without knowing what led them to make those choices.

The book brought up a lot of questions for me and a lot of themes I feel family and military historians should look at when we explore our own family’s role in World War II or any war.

1. How would we act today?

2. The shock one may go into when discovering a family member or a family business was responsible for some horrible event in history (define that as you need to.)

3. The questions that rise when we discover said act(s) or choices and no one is left to ask. Then what do we do? In this case, Hartmut Topf set out to learn the history of his family’s involvement in the creation of the ovens and all that was attached to that. Then to create a Memorial in Erfurt, Germany to remind people of what happened there and give them pause to think on the effects so this doesn’t happen again.

Having traveled through parts of western Germany and western Europe, it did not go unnoticed that the Germans do not memorialize what took place for WWI or WWII as is done in the rest of Europe. From what I observed and was told, memorials to soldiers are attached to churches for the most part. Or sometimes I have seen them as a small almost “invisible” monument somewhere in town. It is known that most every country rewrites their history so the bad parts are wiped away. This is documented. We know what was and was not taught in schools after World War II and we see how even in our own country today, parts of history are being wiped away. The Topf business histories even ignore their role in the war or leave those years out altogether. How are we serving the past, present, and future by ignoring what happened? What would change if we understood and could not stand in judgment of it all?

4. Traveling as much as I do, this book brought up another question – how much of the past do we never know about as we travel because there are no memorials or reminders? The thoughts in #3 above speak to this somewhat, but as I read this book and thought – ok a friend was just in these cities mentioned and said nothing about knowing the history of the war there. These aren’t things tourism sites or cities usually advertise on their websites or travel brochures. So how do we discover these deeper and darker parts of history, whether WWII or some other war? I think it requires us to look into the histories of the places we choose to visit. Again, as an empath and medium, sometimes I feel things or am aware of things but can’t always put my finger on exactly what/when/where/who it was – I had not considered until I read this book that there are pieces of history that are never discussed.

5. Believing what took place. One Topf family descendant, Udo, saw photographs of the camps, the corpses, the ovens. Read the history. Even visited the camps, yet still could not wrap his mind around the fact his family participated in the creation of it all. Udo had a long career with the company after the war and being loyal to family (whatever that specifically meant to him), he had trouble seeing his family was culpable in this. He talked of blame and what the family should or should not have done.

This is where we get into those grey areas of judgment, conclusion, questioning what we would have done. We weren’t there so in my point of view that question isn’t possible to answer. My point of view is to learn, observe, ask questions about what happened, who was involved, and try to understand the 100 other experiences and choices that led to them saying YES to whatever they chose that had a tremendous impact on the world, the lives of millions, and history. This is also where we have to ask – is it my responsibility to carry the sins of my fathers and the past? What responsibility, if any, do I have here?

Hartmut Topf chose responsibility as his decision to create a memorial and educate people about the dark past.

This book had many more questions and themes that apply to family and military historians. It also illustrates the path taken by one business family in the creation of a killing machine during the war. In my point of view, learning about these people, their personal histories, the company history, that of the political and social situation in Germany from prior to World War I to today, gives us all a new perspective on the war and what took place. Using what we learn through the book and all the questions raised, I think we can create change in the world that allows us to stop hurting each other. If we choose that path.

I’m not finished with my thoughts on this book. I’ll be releasing a new project in the coming months with books as the focal point. Stay tuned to learn more and how this may affect how you perceive, judge, research, write, and heal your family’s history.

Disclaimer: The book link is an affiliate link and I make a small royalty off your purchase. This does not affect your purchase price.

© 2018 World War II Research and Writing Center

Book Review – The Butcher’s Daughter

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I recently read a book called The Butcher’s Daughter, a memoir, by Florence Grende. Florence is the daughter of Holocaust survivors. Her story though is not of a family who survived the camps, but who escaped to the forests prior to being sent from a ghetto to a camp and the effects that life had on her parents and herself.

The book is a short read and I read it within a couple of days. It is intense, but not so intense that you have to put it down and walk away for days before returning to it.

I was drawn to this book because Florence discussed it in a Holocaust Educator’s group on Facebook and made the comments that writing her family’s story helped her discover who she was. This really hit home for me because that is one reason I research – to know better who I am and who my family was. To heal the present and past. To create a better future. Many of my clients are also asking for answers to questions through the research which impacts who they are and the cause an evaluation of who they thought their parents were, and who they see them as after discovering those things which could not be talked about.

Many of us hold secrets from the past. Traumatic events, places, and the evils of this world cause many of us to shut down. Keep those memories as far away as possible. We often do this thinking it will protect the people we love. Does it really? I think if we were brave enough to open the door to the past more often and talk about what scares the hell out of us, what tore us apart, what made us want to die or live……would heal so many things.

Will it be easy? No. Will it change us and the world? Yes.

Florence takes us on a journey through her life in brief chapters which hit on a topic and then she moves on. Her story is one of sacrifice, abuse, the trauma of war, how one family dealt with the ghosts of the past (or did not) and how that affected their children who did not live through the war, but certainly felt its effects. In her chapter called Flesh, Florence describes her struggle with weight. As a teenager she wished to not only fit into her family and world, but also be SEEN by her family. To do so, she chose (unknowingly at the time she said), to transform her body into looking like a skeletal camp survivor, in an attempt to close the chasm between her and her parents. How many of us have turned into our parents or someone else to be seen, acknowledged, and to feel as if we fit into the world about which they cannot speak?

Maybe the most powerful part of the book for me, something I struggle with in learning more about my family’s past and that of those who fought in the war, she says,

Dare I say it? I envy their war experiences, their proof of their grit, the solidity of their pain. Like Yiddish, it belongs to them, not me. My fears are empty, inherited without the legitimacy of memory. I feel the terror of their war too, but it rides on the back of a phantom. How can my fears ever measure up to theirs? (The Butcher’s Daughter, pages 70-71).

How many of us feel this way about something in our family’s past that haunts us through the generations? In my family one of those topics is the mental state my grandpa returned from WWII in. Stories were told in the family about what he endured (I later discovered those likely had no basis in fact.) My grandma would never talk about it when we discussed family history. At that time I also didn’t know what really happened to him or what his medical records contained. We always say, “If I had only asked…..” yet we don’t always know what would be helpful to know so we could ask. My dad knew only the stories. My uncle who was much older that my dad would also only tell me the stories he heard. Otherwise it was a family secret.

I understand why it was a secret. Looking at the period after the war through a historical lens, we see that no one wanted to discuss it. There was a lot of shame, guilt, sadness, and many other emotions surrounding the war and what men had experienced and could not or would not discuss. Families wanted to be happy and move on.

This book has such depth, I could talk for hours about it, going through each chapter and commenting on something that hits home for me or I’ve observed in my clients. I highly recommend this book. It is one you can read more than once and learn something new about yourself and your family each read.

How much can we heal by witnessing other’s experiences and looking at ourselves and our families? What kind of world is possible if we confront the ghosts of the past and allow healing to occur?

© 2017 World War II Research and Writing Center

Visiting Imperial War Museum Duxford in Cambridgeshire, UK

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On June 5th 2017, the WWII Research and Writing Centre team visited the IWM at Duxford near Cambridge in England. Duxford was an airfield and was used in WWII. It is quite famous (apart from the movie “Battle of Britain” for its collection of military planes, especially WWII vintage.)

It doesn’t disappoint.

Air Space Hall

There is ample parking and the entrance is clearly marked. The entrance fee is currently 18 good old British pounds but that is pretty good value for what you get. You enter the complex near the gift shop which I always like. You can already spot some items you may want to pick up later (leather flying helmets, anyone?).

The whole museum is in fact several separate hangars, each with their own exhibition and theme. We started our visit at the Air-Space hall. A very impressive amount of spectacular planes greeted us: Concord, a Sunderland Flying Boat, a Lancaster, a Spitfire, a Lysander, a Vulcan bomber, a Meteor to name just a few. What a sight to see all those together. If anything, it was almost too much with some planes so close together their grandeur was lost.

In a separate area was an exhibition on Airborne. The British Airborne divisions were active in some of the great battles of WWII (Bruneval Raid, Operation Overlord and Market Garden) and also after WWII they were active: Northern Ireland and the Falklands to name just two conflicts. I was very impressed by the original Briefing Boards used in the Bruneval Raid and Normandy. How many eyes have studied these boards before me?

We then walked along the airfield (Duxford is still in use as an airfield and you can arrange a flight in a vintage plane) to the American Air Museum part, the main reason for our visit. On the way we stopped by the B17 Memphis Belle/Sally B that was parked along the runway. Good photo opportunity with two planes in one.

Radio Room

We also went in the Radio room/Comms shed for a quick look which was stacked with old radios and manned by very enthusiastic volunteers that could talk the hind legs off a donkey. If it had been up to them, we would still be there! Very informative. But we needed to make our way to the American part. First it was time for some tea or coffee in the café with very friendly and helpful staff though.

Again, the collection in the American Air Museum is most impressive: where else in Europe can you see a Dakota, F15, A-10 Warthog, B-17, B-24, B-29, B-52, SR-71 Blackbird, P-51 Mustang and a Bell Huey under one roof? And that is not a complete list!  Explanations, personal effects, artefacts, uniforms, the collection is pretty complete with very good explanations and personal stories that make you think. All very well and clearly displayed. There is so much to see and read that it would be easy to be overwhelmed. Do not go to this museum to think you will be done in a couple of hours! We almost spent the entire day there.

WWII Operations Room

After the American Air Museum we visited the WWII Operations Room (..bandits, bandits!) where you could almost hear the phones ringing and the plotters at work (make sure you have seen the movie Battle of Britain!). Then it was time for the Battle of Britain hall. To be honest, I expected more of this but what was there was well done. The Spit was missing as it was used for a private function in the Air Space hall (we caught a glimpse of it there) and I was disappointed.

We walked around the displays and went outside to find something to eat. Lo and behold, they were rolling the Spitfire back to be put back in the Battle of Britain hall. It was parked outside the hangar! Great moment to get really close, have a peek in the cockpit and take some photos. I love Spitfires and to be so close to one was a special moment indeed.

Duxford has three places where you can have something to eat or drink: the café in the American hall, the Workshop Restaurant and The Armoury Café and Kitchen. Make sure you time your visit and intake of sustenance. The Workshop Restaurant is a sit down and be served affair (which we found would take too long) and The Armoury Café did not serve lunch anymore by the time we got there are 15.00 or so. This could have been a problem but thankfully the lady always carries a protein bar so we survived. Be warned though.

By this time our feet were almost staring to hurt but we managed to visit the Flying Aircraft and Conservation in Action areas. By this time we had been here for six hours already. It was getting difficult to take things in and we decided to call it a day. Of course we had to go through the gift shop. We picked up some great items from a wide array of available souvenirs and memorabilia: books, t-shirts, trinkets, pencils, WWII sweets, mugs… there is something for everybody.

IWM Duxford provides a great day out. There is a lot to see and the displays are very well done. As it is a working airfield you even may catch vintage planes flying.

I can really recommend this museum.

© 2017 World War II Research and Writing Center

Visit to Imperial War Museum, London

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On June 8th, 2017 my fiancée Jennifer Holik and I visited the Imperial War Museum in London. Jennifer was in London for the first time and I have visited this museum many times before. I think the first time I went must have been 45 years ago.

First of all, the grounds, the building and the entrance are very impressive. Two big naval guns dominate the view and make it instantly clear you are about to enter a War Museum, not an Art exhibit or anything else.

Entrance is free, as is customary with British museums. After the obligatory security check (there are lockers available to get rid of your bag and coat) the entrance to the exhibits is a bit messy. Turn left you go into a gift shop which leads to the WWII exhibit or you can take the stairs down to the Main Hall. It may confuse some people.

To begin with, the Main Hall. The exhibits in this hall change from time to time and, to be honest, the items that I remember being there were more impressive than whet there is now. Hanging above you are still the Spitfire used in the Battle of Britain as well as V1 (buzzbomb) and a Harrier jet. On the ground there is a wreck of a car used as a bomb in Iraq and a V2 and, slightly tucked away, a Russian tank.

Gone are the items that stuck in my mind most and had been there for years: A Messerschmitt Bf 109, a London bus used in WWI, a British WWI tank and a German Jagdpanzer tank form WWII with a few holes in it. In my mind the gun on this thing was massive (same gun a used on the Tiger tank). I find the main hall not as impressive as it used to be. I was disappointed.

On to the WWI exhibit. I remember the very impressive Trench Experience but that is gone as well. Another disappointment. The amount and quality of the WWI items on display are impressive and the explanations are very well done but WWI is the only conflict they have done that for. No such thing for WWII. Also the explanations on certain WWII items are very sketchy and not complete.

Two exhibits are really well done. One is the Holocaust exhibit which is very emotive. I went to this exhibit for the first time when it was recently opened and it sent chills down my spine. It remained one visit and I have avoided going there in my subsequent visits as it was just too much emotionally. Jennifer visited the exibit and wrote an article called The Spiral of Healing. The other one is the SOE/OSS and Special Operations exhibit. Some great items and weapons on display here with good explanations and stories.

There are several shops (not all items on sale are available in each shop), a bookstore and a café. The shops sell a large variety of items as posters, cards, fluffy animals, WWII sweets, Churchill memorabilia, T-shirts etc etc.

For the first time visitor, it is still a pretty impressive museum although some areas will leave you puzzled. For a long time visitor the IWM is not what it used to be. I don’t need to go again. Shame.

© 2017 World War II Research and Writing Center

The Spiral of Healing

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The longer I continue on my spiritual journey, the more I heal, and the more aware I become. Being an empath, I tend to pick up everything from everyone and everywhere. I’ve been told and read many times, that healing is like a spiral. We start at one spot, one event, one moment in time, and work through and release some pain. This could be from a past life or this life.

Then we spiral around the staircase, choose another path – right or left – and something else appears in our lives that trigger something else. I often wonder in these moments, ‘Didn’t I already heal that?’ Then usually I realize it is a deeper issue than what I previously healed. Often I’ve healed something related to the issue that keeps appearing as a distraction to keep me from dealing with the actual deeper, more painful issue that arrives.

Then there are times when I wonder, what happened to me that I could handle something in the past and now it triggers terrible things in my body and soul. I had an experience like this in London last week.

Imperial War Museum – Holocaust Exhibit – 8 June 2017

Johan and I went to the Imperial War Museum in London on 8 June 2017. We had a short visit in London and since I had never been there, Johan showed me a lot of things as we walked and walked. I have a better idea of what I want to see when we return in the fall. The only place we actually entered to spend time was the IWM London before we left the city to go to Canterbury. The museum is incredible with a lot of great artifacts from World War I and World War II. Even some things coming more to the present day, though we chose not to tour those areas. Our focus is World War I and World War II and we had limited time.

Near the end of our visit there was one area I still wanted to see. The Holocaust floor. Johan chose not to walk through since he had seen it, so I went alone. That was fine because sometimes I prefer to be alone when viewing certain things related to war. Having been to Dachau in 2015 and not having a massive triggered panic/anxiety attack there, I thought I would be fine in this exhibit. I know a lot about the Holocaust. I’ve channeled some of the victims in my writing. I’ve seen other exhibits and even been in a camp. Why should this exhibit cause any issues for me? Yet, it did.

It is important to note, no photographs were allowed in the exhibit. I’m not sure why this is the policy as I would think people should know more about the Holocaust, but that is the policy at IWM.

Moving through the initial floor of the two in which the exhibit was held, I saw the history of Europe and Hitler that led up to World War II and the formation of the camps. I was fine through this part and knew a lot of this history. I continued on past a group of noisy school children and walked downstairs to the second part of the exhibit.

At the beginning of this floor was a cattle car used to transport people to the camps. Something said to touch it, so I did. I’m able to pick up things from photographs, objects, nature, etc. At that point I became aware of a flood of things, including so many emotions from people connected to this car and the Holocaust. I had already shielded myself so I wouldn’t pick up everything I encountered in the museum, but it wasn’t enough. I began to feel panicked, anxious, nauseous, and generally ill. Moving on and using all the Access Consciousness tools I could, I still could not Return To Sender, all the things being thrown on me. I still felt uncomfortable and on the verge of what some may call a panic attack.

Seeing the striped uniforms and piles and piles of shoes did not help the rising panic, nausea, and anxiety flooding my system. I had to get out of there as quickly as possible.

It took several minutes after I left the exhibit before I felt relatively normal again and had convinced my soul not to flee. I hate these moments when I pick up so much my soul wishes it could leave my body and I want to jump around to keep it in there and release the energy. I hate those moments that panic sets in and it isn’t even mine, but I absorb it and no amount of Return To Sender gets rid of it.

This makes me wonder, why was I able two years ago to move through Dachau on the 70th Anniversary of the liberation of the camp without these intense feelings and not move through this exhibit the same way?

They say healing comes in spirals. What was unleashed since my visit to Dachau in my soul? In the world? Am I THAT much more aware and conscious now than then? Yes. Have I claimed more of my empathic and healing abilities. Yes. Do the dead seek me out because they know I will help? Yes.

So the question I must now answer for myself is, how do I best protect myself from all of this and not get lost, while still healing myself and the world? How do I best travel through these places and moments in time so I can educate the world and not lose my soul? Spiral…..spiral……spiral……..

Have you experienced these things in your travels? As a healer, how do you handle all the things you become aware of?

©  2017 World War II Research and Writing Center