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Jennifer Holik

Status Was Everything

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We all know that today, no matter where you live in the world, if you have status (including military rank), money, education, and social connections, you will get farther in life. You will receive information, gifts, connections, and more because of these things. Is it fair? No, but this is how our world runs.

I’ve seen this same concept applied during World War II, particularly in regards to how much information a family received about their war dead. Families that did not have these things received the basic form letters of information. Families that had some or all of these things and pushed for answers, usually received them in great detail.

For examples of this, see my article at the WWII Research & Writing Center, Money, Education and Connections Provided Answers in WWII.

For more than a decade that I’ve been researching and writing WWI and WWII histories for clients and my own family and the hundreds of IDPFs (Individual Deceased Personnel Files) I’ve read, this is shown time and again. However……I recently read a file of a high ranking officer that rocked me to my core.

I can’t share too many details yet but this officer served in the Pacific Theater and was captured in 1942.  He became a Japanese Prisoner of War until his death in 1945 while allegedly being on one of the Japanese prisoner ships which was bombed by the Americans. Those details are unclear according to his file.

The Identification of this POW

According to this 280 page file on a Lt Colonel, he was allegedly on a Japanese Prisoner of War ship being transported when it was bombed by the Americans. According to history, we were not aware our men were being transported on these ships before we bombed them. This Lt Colonel did not appear on a ship list when completed by Graves Registration later, but he was added according to a document in his IDPF. Was he really on one of those ships or had he already died somewhere else? This may never be known.

There was an Unknown and an X-File created for this Unknown with details given about possible weight, height, age, dental information upon examination of the remains, and hair and beard color. Reading the file, this did not match well with the information on the Lt Colonel so a match was initially not made. Remember, DNA testing was not an option during or after WWII.

Enter his wife…… who began asking questions of her high ranking friends and connections and pushing for an identification so she could bring her husband’s remains home after the war. (Stay tuned for another article about her.) Due to the wife’s connections, a new examination of that set of remains was done and many questions were asked of her about her husband’s dental work and medical history. All of this is documented in the file.

After an extensive examination of all the information, a unanimous decision was made that this set of remains was in fact this Lt Colonel. Yet…….the evidence doesn’t make sense. After the identification was made, arrangements were quickly made to repatriate his remains and have them buried in the U.S. His wife and daughter, both deceased, are buried with him.

His wife received some closure, although it’s questionable if the identification was accurate.

Another Family Still Grieves

If the identification was not accurate and this widow was given remains of “her husband” to appease her and help her in her grief, that means another family will never receive closure because that set of remains is not available to DNA test today. Another family will forever have their service member listed as MIA and unrecoverable.

What happens next? I’m making notes about this case and asking a trusted colleague to do the same. Then we’ll see what’s possible after this if we both agree the wrong identification may have been made. If the identification is found to be incorrect then another family may receive the opportunity to gain closure. However, this also means the Lt Colonel may go on the MIA list. He has no living descendants as his daughter never married and never had a child.

It’s important to question everything you discover through military and genealogy research. Mistakes were made, people were human and in some cases, under pressure to produce a specific result. Examine all information through the historical lens and seek out more records as you build your case for each family member.

What Will You Discover Through Research?

Are you curious about what you might find out about your WWI or WWII service members? What you might discover about your family through the genealogy and military records? If so, let’s start a project today.

Book a private session or free research consult, many options available based on your needs, and let me help you explore what’s hidden in your family tree, start a military research project, create your family tree or write your story.

© 2023 WWII Research & Writing Center

Now Offering Writing & Publishing Services

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After a few years taking a break from writing and publishing due to burnout, I am once again offering writing and publishing services to clients.

Preserve and honor the remarkable stories of yourself, your ancestors, veterans, and the legacies they’ve left behind. We understand the importance of capturing and sharing these unique narratives that span generations. Our mission is to guide you through the process of unearthing and documenting your family’s rich history, while also providing a supportive environment to explore and heal from generational and war trauma.

Writing Services Include:

Family Storytelling and Memoir

Unlock the hidden chapters of your story or your family’s past as skilled genealogists, military researchers, and storytellers work diligently to piece together the puzzle of your ancestry. Through meticulous research, personal interviews, genealogical tools, and archival exploration, we’ll reveal the untold stories and forgotten details, connecting you to your roots and heritage.

Veteran Chronicles

Pay tribute to the brave men and women who served their country by capturing their invaluable experiences. We specialize in collecting family accounts, photographs, and genealogical and military records to create comprehensive narratives that honor their sacrifices. By sharing their stories, we ensure their bravery and resilience will forever be remembered.

Trauma Integration

Generational and war trauma can have a profound impact on individuals and families. We are here to guide you through the process of identifying, understanding, and healing from these deep wounds. By incorporating trauma-informed approaches into the storytelling process, we strive to create a safe space for exploration, reflection, and growth.

Publishing Services

Once your family story or veteran chronicle is complete, we offer a range of publishing services to help you bring your narratives to life. From editing and design to printing and distribution, our experienced publishing team will assist you at every step. We’ll ensure your family’s stories receive the recognition they deserve.

Developmental Editing

Developmental editing is a comprehensive and collaborative process designed to enhance the overall structure, content, and impact of your manuscript. You can expect a meticulous examination of your manuscript. We will delve deep into the heart of your story, analyzing its strengths and weaknesses. We focus on big-picture elements such as plot, character development, pacing, tone, and thematic consistency, ensuring your story resonates with your target audience. We provide valuable insights and suggestions to help you strengthen your manuscript.

Would you like to know more and book a free consult to discuss your project? Click here and let’s get started!

© 2023 WWII Research & Writing Center

Are You Feral, Perfect, or Somewhere In Between?

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I had a conversation with a friend about John Bradshaw’s book Family Secrets.  I also shared that I’m creating some new genealogy workshops to help people look at their lives and the lives of their families from different perspectives. When she heard that, she shared something interesting with me. It kind of revolved around how people are raised and whether our energies are primarily feral, perfectionist, lax, lenient, etc.,

My friend approached this conversation through examples of the other women she works with. There are three women in this office and each has a different energy they live by. My friend is more a perfectionist and rule follower. Her boss is more of a feral energy. As she described her to me it was along the lines of letting her kids grow up and run more wild, less restrictions, less rules. And the third woman is a pastor but more lenient – sounded like a balance between the other two women.

I viewed these energies as a triangle and it felt very balanced. I wondered then if we all seek out jobs or volunteer groups or friends that hold these different energies so we have more balance in our lives?

I asked my friend this and the conversation then went to how she was raised. How her mother was raised. How her grandmother functioned as the wife of a prominent towns person. See, my friend’s grandpa owned a coal mine so the family was affluent, prominent in the town, and had influence. His wife and children had to be raised a certain way to carry off this image of a well to do businessman. Meek, submissive, quiet, always in control, perfect.

War Trauma

Joseph Holik abt 1944-1945

One thing we didn’t discuss in our conversation today, but I know exists in her family and mine, is war trauma and mental health issues.

We have to ask ourselves how our veteran’s service may have impacted the behaviors of his or her family. If a veteran suffered from mental health issues as a result of the war, what energies and behaviors did that create within the family to help keep the veteran “stable, feel safe, calm……”

Quite often children will report they had to walk on eggshells and not upset daddy. Wives report the same and that they were always on high alert to make sure their husband or partner was not upset or startled, which meant having to keep the children under control, quiet, peaceful, almost perfect. Just these behaviors can create stress, anxiety and forms of PTSD within the family members that will later have to be examined and healed.

When we grow up in atmospheres like that we often unconsciously perpetuate these energies. Our behaviors revolve around not rocking the boat, not upsetting anyone, low self-esteem if we aren’t perfect or make someone angry. Perhaps we have anxiety, depression, our own mental health issues or physical issues as a result.

It’s important to examine how the families of our veterans lived and how that changed after military service to get a bigger picture of our family. I believe for my friend and myself, growing up through families with unaddressed war trauma, we have both had to deal with depression and anxiety, PTSD, and behaviors that we didn’t realize we lived until something triggered us to look at our lives and families more closely and honestly.

Generational Patterns

My friend’s mother grew up in this atmosphere and then raised her daughters the same way she had been raised. According to Bradshaw and others I’ve studied, sometimes these patterns will swing wildly the other direction every generation so you see a generation of control and perfectionism then a generation of wild abandonment then a generation of control and perfectionism. Families can go either way and the patterns are always interesting to observe.

Another thing my friend mentioned was that all the women in her family suffered from anxiety and she felt it was because of the high standards by which they were raised. To step out of line, break a rule, not be perfect creates a great amount of stress for each of them.

The Energies & Behaviors We Live

Identifying the family patterns and behaviors by which we live can help us shift the direction of our lives. Heal mental and physical issues. Create greater abundance, joy, and love. But first we must do the sometimes harder work of figuring out where things began. 

One way to do this is journal about how you grew up. The rules by which you had to live. Then ask your parents about their childhoods and teen years. What rules did they live by? What were the consequences if broken? Why did they choose to raise you with the same or similar rules OR the opposite rules and behaviors?

Then take it back another generation and try to find out how your grandparents were raised. Sometimes this requires us to dive into social history to better understand the times in which someone lived, the culture or religion in which they grew up with. Or perhaps the educational or political system. All of these things affect the way people behave and the way they raise their children.

What do you think about how you were raised, the way you raise your children if you have them, and what generational patterns you’d like to break and release?

Explore your family’s patterns

Purchase access to my webinar, Why Was Grandma So Mean? to begin your exploration into how genealogical and military records can help use see family patterns.

Book an private session, many options available based on your needs, and let me help you explore what’s hidden in your family tree.

© 2023 WWII Research & Writing Center

Effects of Military Service & Combat on Children of Veterans

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The family should be studied as a whole when we talk about the experiences of our veterans and war.

Do you agree or disagree with that statement?

As genealogists and military researchers, when the subject of war comes up, we tend to focus only on the veteran and his or her service. Usually in cases of specific study for books or conference papers, do historians tend to focus on women in war (as service members or on the home front). Sometimes children of war are studied, but most often this has been seen in the context of WWII Europe rather than the U.S.

We know from studies of epigenetics and the Holocaust, that trauma, unprocessed and unintegrated emotions can pass down through the DNA through the generations. It doesn’t matter if we are talking about the Revolutionary War, U.S. Civil War, World War I, World War II, Vietnam, Afghanistan. The effects linger. So why are we ignoring the family left at home while someone goes away to serve? Why are we ignoring their possible traumas, unprocessed emotions, lifelong effects of the fact they lived in a family with a veteran?

We have ignored this so long that when we, as descendants, are triggered by something that is linked to an experience of our parents, grandparents, siblings, or other family members that was not addressed, it is so decontextualized we may not know why we are being triggered. Additionally, the way it shows up as an emotion or trigger or experience within us may be vastly different than how it originally presented.

Isn’t it time we begin to examine the effects on the rest of the family that a veteran’s service can create? Can you identify with any of these, either as a child or family member of a veteran or a descendant? Have you written about this in your family history or just for yourself?

How Trauma May Present in Family Members and Children

Parental emotional distress. Veterans may suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues as a result of their combat experiences. Children may witness their parent’s emotional struggles, including mood swings, nightmares, flashbacks, or emotional detachment, which can be deeply distressing for them. Often children do not have the vocabulary to talk about what they are feeling or witnessed which can then create more energetic blocks and potential future issues.

Separation from the parent. Military service often involves deployments, which can result in prolonged periods of separation between the child and their parent. The absence of a parent can cause feelings of abandonment, anxiety, and a sense of loss for the child, leading to emotional trauma. How has your family dealt with the issue of separation? How did this affect you growing up if you are an adult?

Uncertainty and fear. Children of veterans may live in constant fear of their parent’s safety during deployments or even after their return. This ongoing uncertainty can create a high level of anxiety and hypervigilance in children, impacting their daily functioning and overall well-being. How much fear did you shove away as the child or even spouse of a veteran? Where do you feel that in your body? How does this present in current time (anxiety, depression, panic, grief, other?)

Communication barriers. Veterans may find it challenging to discuss their combat experiences due to the painful memories associated with them. From every client I worked with on a military project and even those I speak with all tell me the same thing…. ‘My dad never talked about it.’ This lack of open communication can create a barrier between the child and their veteran parent, making it difficult for the child to understand and process their parent’s experiences, leading to feelings of confusion, isolation, and trauma. We need to keep in mind the historical context and societal propaganda about returning veterans after each war. Quite often we will find books, studies, or newspaper articles telling families to not bring up the war. Create a normal life again. Never talk about it. This propaganda has created a mental health crisis not only in the U.S. but around the world as we all hold so much repressed emotion and decontextualized trauma in our bodies and energy fields.

Substance abuse & Addiction. Veterans dealing with trauma may turn to alcohol, drugs, sex, or other addictive behaviors as a coping mechanism. The resulting substance abuse issues within the family can create an unstable and unpredictable environment for children, leading to their own traumatic experiences. This way of dealing with trauma may also be replicated down the generations. Children witness a parent coping in a certain way and they may be more likely to use that as their coping mechanism. Sometimes we can trace addiction and substance abuse through the generations as being linked to a traumatic event like going to war, a natural disaster, a move (immigration, migration), accident, divorce, or other traumatizing event.

What else have you witnessed in your family as a result of a veteran’s service? How has your family processed and coped? I invite you to write about this in your family histories and share with others so we can all heal.

© 2023 WWII Research & Writing Center

Weekly Family Patterns Healing Sessions

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Beginning in June, I will be hosting weekly Facebook Live Family Patterns Healing Sessions in my Ancestral Souls Facebook Group. These will be held on Wednesday from 1:30-2:00 p.m. CDT via FB Live.

I will be doing some energy and ancestral clearings, a short teaching, sharing resources, facilitating attendees as needed and answering questions. It will be a time for you to join in the conversation as well.

Are you new to Family Patterns and Ancestral Healing? Download my new Family Patterns Guide and get started in your exploration today.

© 2023 WWII Research & Writing Center

Starting Family Pattern Research

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Genealogy and military research can tell us so much about our family. We can learn where people lived across the generations. Family members may have photos to share so we know what our ancestors looked like. We may discover what kind of jobs they held, education they had (or didn’t), military service, land ownership, health issues, and causes of death. All of those things and other facts we can discover are amazing and fun, but how often do we consider the less fun things our ancestors experienced or lived?

One thing I believe we have been missing in our exploration in the field of genealogy and military research are the struggles, traumas, hard times, generational patterns, and resilience of our ancestors.

Exploring family patterns can be a valuable way to understand your family’s history and gain insights into your own behavior and relationships. Have you ever wondered why you believe the things you do? Why you live they way you do? Why you and your mom can’t seem to get along all the time? Why you repeat experiences, patterns, or relationships and seem to never be able to change it or be truly happy?

When we are willing to look at the beliefs, behaviors, patterns, and traumas of our family members and ancestors beyond the veil, in addition to the energies we bring to our life and relationships, we can end toxic and abusive cycles. We can create a more joyful, abundant life with amazing relationships. We just have to know where to begin this journey and take the first steps. Are you ready? I have some steps and tools that can be helpful in exploring family patterns:

  1. Grab a journal and start with yourself.

Before you start exploring your family patterns, it’s important to have a good understanding of yourself. Reflect on your own beliefs and why you believe some of the things you do. Consider your personality traits, behavior patterns, and relationships. Ask yourself what you have learned from your family and how those experiences have shaped you. Also ask yourself why you have not questioned some of the beliefs and behaviors of your family. Explore these without judgment, which I know is hard to do. Just be the observer in this journal exercise.

  1. Have conversations or conduct interviews with family members.
Picnic with Grandma Libbie 1999.

Talking to family members can be a valuable source of information about your family history and patterns. You can start with parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, or anyone who can provide insight into your family’s past. Some questions to ask might include:

– What are some of your earliest memories of your family?

– What beliefs, behaviors, or patterns have you observed in your family that you knew you did not want to continue as you got older and started your own family?

– What was your relationship like with your parents or siblings?

– What was your relationship like with your aunts, uncles, cousins, and other family members?

– Growing up, what were some of the family values and traditions that were important to your family? Do you continue any of these in your own family as an adult? If not, what did you stop and why?

– What were some of the challenges your family faced? Have you faced those same challenges as an adult?

  1. Use online genealogy resources.

Online genealogy resources like Ancestry.com, Fold3.com, Internet Archive, or FamilySearch.org can be helpful in tracing your family and military history and identifying patterns. You can also use these resources to create a family tree and learn more about your ancestors.

  1. Look for patterns.

As you gather information about your family history, create timelines for your family members and look for patterns that emerge. The timeline is an amazing tool to gather information and view your family members through a different lens. For example, you may notice that certain events happen in each generation, perhaps there are pregnancy or child losses that recur, or behaviors have been passed down through multiple generations.

  1. Consider family therapy, energy healing modalities, or ancestral healing sessions.

If you’re struggling with understanding or managing family patterns, family therapy can be a valuable resource. A therapist can help you explore the dynamics of your family and provide guidance on how to improve relationships. If therapy is not for you, working with an energy healer or ancestral healer like myself might be what you need. The tools that work for one person may not work for others so always seek out multiple options and choose what’s best for you.

Exploring family patterns can be complex and emotional, however it is a valuable way to gain insight into yourself and why your family made choices to live the way they lived. Using a combination of genealogy and military research, family stories and conversations, tools like the timeline, and therapy or ancestral healing, you can end old patterns and heal yourself and everyone in your lineage. You will also better understand your family’s history and how it has shaped your life.

Would you like help exploring your family patterns? Book a Family Patterns Consult today and let’s get started!

Family Stories & Secrets Workshop

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What is Missing or Broken in your Family Tree?

Every family has patterns, unprocessed traumas, & behaviors that are passed down through the generations. These may create chaos, issues with relationships, money, work, life, dis-ease, and stress in our lives. They may also create breaks in our family. When we identify these patterns, traumas, and behaviors, through research, family stories, and self-exploration, we can change our lives & heal our ancestors. Learn how to get started in my free workshop. Two dates available – Wednesday 26 April and Saturday 29 April 2023.

I Was Told My Dad’s Records Burned

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Most of my research clients and people I meet and talk to about their WWI or WWII service member tell me the same things.

I couldn’t get the military records because the burned.

He never talked about the war, no one did, so I don’t know anything.

I don’t know where to start or how to save time and money to learn my veteran’s story.

Does this sound familiar? Have you encountered any of these brick walls? If so, you will not want to miss the Stories from the Battlefield Spring Seminar which begins this Sunday, 23 April at 11 a.m. CDT.

What’s Included In The Seminar?

Four live 90-minute training sessions. Replays will be available.
Live 30-minute Q&A session each week.
A workbook full of checklists, resources, and more!
A bonus class focused on researching your WWI Doughboy online.
Certificate of Completion.
And more……

Class dates: Sundays, April 23, 30, and May 7 and 14. Bonus class will be held on Wednesday 26 April at noon.

Week 1 – Sunday 23 April 2023 at 11:00 a.m. CDT

Research a Veteran. Exploring the Basics of Military Research.

Week 2 – Sunday 30 April 2023 at 11:00 a.m. CDT

World War II Sacrifice. Records & Resources for the Prisoners, Missing, & Dead.

Week 3 – Sunday 7 May 2023 at 11:00 a.m. CDT

Exploring the Greatest Generation.Adding Context to the Veteran’s Story.

Week 4 – Sunday 14 May 2023 at 11:00 a.m. CDT

Exploring the Online Battlefield.Resources & Strategies for Online Military Research.

BONUS Program! Wednesday 26 April at 12:00 p.m. CDT

Your Doughboy’s Story.

Are you ready to learn how to save time, money, and frustration in your military research? Learn more and register today. https://www.ancestralsoulswisdomschool.com/stories-battlefield-spring23

© 2023 WWII Research & Writing Center

Music & Our Ancestors

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Isn’t it interesting how a song can transport us back in time to a favorite moment in our lives? Maybe a piece of music gives you chills as you think about your ancestors or a place you visited? Maybe you connect to a time period’s music, like the 1940s because you had family who served in WWII. Have you ever considered that today’s music can provide messages from your ancestors?

I was listening to some David Cook songs which I had not heard in years. Two in particular made me cry as I could see my ancestors, particularly my military ancestors who have guided and loved me since 2010, standing in front of me with open arms. These songs are Take Me As I Am and Come Back To Me.

Whole Holik family

But these are love songs you might say! Yes they are. However, read the lyrics to these songs. Do they invoke any emotional response in you? If not, is there a song that does?

When I listened to these songs I heard several messages. In the song Take Me As I Am I heard and sensed that my ancestors were asking me to take them as they were – not who I assume they should have been or judge them to be. To accept and love them unconditionally as they were in life and beyond the veil. When we open our hearts and arms to receive them as they are in this NOW moment, just as they accept us as we are, we can help them heal and we will heal.

I have experienced this with several of my military ancestors carrying pain on the other side. The more I see them for who they were and look at myself and heal layers, they heal. Their energy feels different on the other side.

How often do you pay attention to the energies of your ancestors that come through to talk to you or assist you? Do they shift as you do?

As I listened to Come Back To Me, I remembered that I can only meet my ancestors at the depth I have been willing to meet myself. At the depth I have been willing to see my own shadows so I can face theirs.

Facing our shadows and those of our ancestors, which included family secrets, lies, whispers, shame, guilt, anger, and grief, can be hard. It CAN be done if we are brave and willing.

What do you notice about your ancestors as you do your own inner healing work? Please share in the comments.

Would you like to explore your family patterns or military research? Book a 45-minute Family Patterns Consult with me today and let’s start your journey.

© 2023 WWII Research & Writing Center

80th Anniversary of D-Day Programs

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In 2024 we honor our WWII veterans during the 80th Anniversary of D-Day. If your library, museum, genealogy or historical society, homeschool group, or other organization is seeking WWII programming, I have what you need.

I’m now booking through 2024, individual programs, half-or full-day seminars, and study groups to teach people my 2-step process to research any veteran from WWII, even if the records burned. The strategies I developed also apply to WWI, Korea & Vietnam.

Learn more to explore all program options to customize your event and contact me to book your program today before dates fill up. This is especially important if you want to have research done prior to any 2024 travel. My strategies will save you time, money, and frustration.

Choose Your Experience

Create a Seminar

Book me to speak for your organization. Choose four programs, two required and two optional. If you want all six programs listed below, we can break the seminar into two days.

  • Four live 60-minute training sessions with 15 minute Q&A after each session. Two required programs (see below) and you choose the other two.
  • A workbook full of checklists, resources, and more! 

Create a Study Group

Do your members like study groups and more individualized attention? A minimum of 5 participants is required to form a group. Students each pay a fee to participate.

  • You receive all six programs listed below which run 60-75 minutes before a 15-minute Q&A. The My Doughboy’s Story program is 2-hours with Q&A.
  • Study Group can be set up to run over 2 days (3 programs on each day) or one program a week for 6 weeks. Day and evening time slots available.
  • 2 additional Live Q&A sessions will be scheduled for students to ask questions & share research finds. Replay will be provided.
  • Video replays and materials will be available to students for 3 months.
  • A workbook full of checklists, resources, and more! 

Learn more to explore all program options to customize your event and contact me to book your program today before dates fill up. This is especially important if you want to have research done prior to any 2024 travel. My strategies will save you time, money, and frustration.

© 2023 WWII Research & Writing Center